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He calls out other men cheating as pigs and yet he chases other women for sex. He is a liar and manipulator. The worst kind of cheater is someone who lies and manipulate the people around him without any remorse. Disgusting! A restraining order has been filed against from other women because he wont stop harassing them. He works for NetApps. Summary: Pamela Lewis was born on 09/14/1965 and is 54 years old. Pamela Lewis currently lives in Deerfield, IL; in the past Pamela has also lived in Bannockburn IL and Northbrook IL. In the past, Pamela has also been known as Pamela S Goldstein and Pamela S Lewis. southern illinois (cbd) springfield, IL (spi) springfield, MO (sgf) st joseph (stj) terre haute, IN (tha) topeka, KS (tpk) waterloo / cedar falls (wlo) western IL (qcy) western KY (wky) + show 54 more... Teen Dating is the #1 teen dating site and mobile app for socializing with and meeting new teens near you. Join now and meet thousands of teenagers like you! DISCLAIMER : Illinois Compiled Statutes (730 ILCS 152/115 (a) and (b)) mandate that the Illinois State Police ('ISP') establish and maintain a statewide Sex Offender Database, accessible on the Internet, identifying persons who have been convicted of certain sex offenses and/or crimes against children and must register as a Sex Offender. Find Women Seeking Men listings in St Louis on Oodle Classifieds. Join millions of people using Oodle to find great personal ads. Don't miss what's happening in your neighborhood. We know online dating can be frustrating, so we built our site with one goal in mind: Make online dating free, easy, and fun for everyone. Finding a date with Mingle2 has never been simpler. Our singles community is massive, and you're only a couple of clicks away from finding a date. She won’t fuking stop. She goes by Christine Michelle (Plainfield or romeoville) or Izzy Michelle (same town in Illinois) on fb. Her brother is a sex offender. Her family comes from a long line of pedophiles, sexual predators and she has a laundry list of mental health issues that go from harmless to straight up scary stalker. Seek some type of housing assistance plus first months rent and security deposit in Nothern Virginia area, convicted 10/1/1993, yet Vs. State law requires a State police compliance to make 2 visits a year and be given a copy of lease agreement. 2backpage is a site similar to backpage and the free classified site in the world. People love us as a new backpage replacement or an alternative to 2backpage.com.
An LGBTQ culture and media starter pack (not a question; LONG list of recommendations)
2020.07.30 00:21 HonestMissionAn LGBTQ culture and media starter pack (not a question; LONG list of recommendations)
Hi! I've recently noticed that there has been several posts from gaybros who seem to feel really disconnected from and disengaged with the LGBTQ community. That's understandable, especially when these uncertain times mean that most people aren't in a good frame of mind or at their best. Seeing that we're all socially distancing, and perhaps still under some form of lockdown, I thought that it would be a good idea to post a (warning: LONG) reading/watching/listening list, given that some of us have plenty of spare time on our hands. I hope that you enjoy discovering something new! I love many items, and care a lot less for others, but I've tried to approach this objectively. Some music suggestions, btw, aren't by LGBTQ artists, but all of them have appealed varyingly to our community. I've also omitted the really obvious stuff, such as Brokeback Mountain, Madonna and Will & Grace etc. Feel free to contribute and add your own favourites! A special thanks goes to my good friend, u/Manor4548, for getting the ball rolling with his excellent suggestions. Also, if our excellent mods feel that this post in inappropriate, I'm more than happy to remove it. Please take care and stay safe! Books Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin (1956) - intelligent and thoughtful novel from a black gay writer, whose seminal work is currently more important than ever Quatrefoil: A Modern Novel by James BarJames Fugaté (1950) - ground-breaking romance novel about two men who ultimately reach of point of self-confidence and acceptance Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel (2006) - lesbian-themed graphic memoir Senses series by Andrew Grey (2012-2016) - frothy and sentimental yet endearing and engaging romance novels about disabled gay men Outskirts: Living Life On The Edge by John Grindrod (2017) - part history of the green belt and part memoir of growing up in the British countryside as a gay youngster Maurice by EM Forster (1971) - posthumously published novel, from the author of Howard's End, which was originally written between 1913 and 1914 The Swimming Pool Library (1988), The Spell (1998) and The Line Of Beauty (2004) by Alan Hollingworth - accomplished and boundary-pushing novelist who explores British gay socio-culture Tigers & Devils series by Sean Kennedy (2009-2019) - idealistic yet thoroughly likeable romance novels about a charmingly misanthropic movie festival director and a kind yet closeted Australian footballer The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway (1926) - accidentally queer novel that concerns toxic masculinity; this Literary Hub article provides an excellent introduction to the unintentional queerness of Hemingway's work Trans: A Memoir by Juliet Jacques (2015) - a British memoir about gender transition, with some thoughtful reflections on trans politics Insignificant Others by Stephen McCauley (2010) - fun and smart "slice of life" novel about a 50-something gay man Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (2019) - playful teen romcom about a bisexual First Son who develops feelings for an English prince The Last Romeo by Justin Myers (2018) - 30-something Bridget Jones-esque comedy of errors romance about a gay British web journalist who starts a dating blog The Charioteer by Mary Renault (1953) - cerebral, moving and ultimately positive historical novel, set in a military hospital during World War II, which has prominent themes of repression and self-discovery A Natural by Ross Raisin (2017) - subtle British novel about a closeted and introverted soccer player Coming Out To Play by Robbie Rogers with Eric Marcus (2014) - if you love soccer and prefer non-fiction, however, then you might like this memoir from the first openly gay MLS player Naked by David Sedaris (1997) - a collection of 40-something autobiographical essays from a gay humourist Real Life by Brandon Taylor (2020) - gay-themed campus novel where a black doctoral student comes of age in a midwestern town Out Of The Woods by Luke Turner (2019) - frank, intimate and sexually explicit British memoir that deals with bisexuality, religion, sexual abuse, outdoor sex, internalised homophobia and binary labels Check, Please! by Ngozi Ukazu (2013-2020) - hilarious webcomic about an adorkable gay figure skater, who loves baking and joins his college's ice hockey team-cum-fraternity Upside Down by NR Walker (2019) - Australian comedy romance involving two homoromantic asexuals The Less Than Epic Adventures Of TJ & Amal by EK Weaver (2009-2014) - webcomic where a gay slacker comes out and goes on a road trip Movies & TV Banana Fish (2018) - anime TV series, based on a magna from the '80s, with a gay male co-protagonist Beautiful Thing (1996) - idealistic yet 100% charming and pandemic-friendly coming out teen romance, which oozes summery cinematography in one of London's brutalist council estates; Jonathan Harvey later wrote the BBC sitcoms Gimme Gimme Gimme (1999-2001) and Beautiful People (2008-2009) BPM (2017) - charismatic and moving French drama about HIV-AIDS activism in the early '90s Bob & Rose (2001) - acclaimed yet short-lived British comedy-drama series, from the creator of Queer As Folk, about an openly gay male school teacher who starts a relationship with a woman Boy Meets Girl (2015-2016) - realistic enough yet very slight BBC sitcom about a 26-year-old man who falls in love with a 40-year-old trans woman The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy (2000) - likeable, peppy, relatable, upbeat and generally unproblematic "slice of life" movie, about a gay friendship group, from the director of the problematic and overrated Love, Simon; co-stars John Mahoney, Dean Cain and a young Zach Braff Dead Poets Society (1989) and School Ties (1992) - deeply homoerotic prep school movies Edge Of Seventeen (1998) - arguably the most realistic coming out movie ever made, although the emphasis is firmly on the "coming of age" side of things End Of The Century (2019) - 30-something Argentine holiday romance, which is heavily inspired by Before Sunrise and set in Barcelona Happy Endings (2011-2013) - underrated 20-something American sitcom, with a loveable co-protagonist that's undoubtedly a beacub Gaycation (2016-2017) - global travel documentary series, co-presented by Ellen Page, which has an LGBTQ slant Grandma's House (2010-2012) - naturalistic BBC sitcom about a gay son and his Jewish family Jeffrey (1995) - subversive AIDS-themed romantic comedy which, despite an outstanding supporting performance from Patrick Stewart that really should have garnered an Oscar nomination, is flawed and an acquired taste Latter Days (2003) and The Falls (2012) - ultra low-budget romantic dramas about gay Mormons, but ultimately more pandemic-friendly than the conversion therapy drama Boy Erased (2018) Longtime Companion (1989) and The Normal Heart (2014) - emotional and touching dramas about the HIV-AIDS crisis in NYC; Matt Bomer and Jim Parsons' performances in the latter merit special praise Love Is Strange (2014) - 60-something romantic drama about discrimination and family, starring John Lithgow and Alfred Molina Love, Valour, Compassion (1997) - melodramatic comedy-drama about a 40-something gay friendship group, although this one is a bitchier and snarkier watch than The Broken Hearts Club; features a star turn from Jason Alexander as a dying HIV-AIDS patient Maurice (1987) - excellent period drama adaptation of EM Forster's novel; co-stars a young Hugh Grant A Moment In The Reeds (2017) - romantic drama where a Finnish man bonds with a Syrian asylum seeker at a lakehouse My Beautiful Laundrette (1985) - pioneering British comedy-drama that critiques racism and Thatcherism, among other things, with a prominent gay subplot; co-stars a young Daniel Day-Lewis My Own Private Idaho (1991) - surreal road trip drama, partially based on Shakespeare's Henry IV and Henry V, about street hustlers; directed by Gus Van Sant, and starring Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix Mysterious Skin (2004) - dark, difficult and uncompromising independent drama about the effect of historic sexual abuse on a gay teenage hustler; stars a young Joseph Gordon-Levitt 1985 (2018) - excellent monochrome drama about a closeted and dying man with HIV-AIDS, who is trying to come out to his conservative and suburban family at Christmas Ocean Waves (1993) - underrated and accidentally queer TV movie from Studio Ghibli; if you don't mind spoilers, then this YouTube video comprehensively explains why Ocean Waves is accidentally queer Open To Question: Justin Fashanu (1992) - Justin Fashanu, the first openly gay professional soccer player and first black player to command a £1m transfer fee, is interviewed on a Q&A programme for young people; it has been archived online by the BBC as an important historical document Outland (2012) and Please Like Me (2013-2016) - two Australian comedy series; the former is about five members of an LGBTQ sci-fi club and the latter is about a newly out millennial slacker (which co-stars Pippa from Home & Away!) Pain & Glory (2019) - Pedro Almodóvar's most recent and arguably most accomplished movie Paris Is Burning (1990) - important long-form BIPOC/BAME documentary about NYC ballroom culture Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert (1994) - inspired road trip comedy about three Australian drag queens Queer Britain (2017) - excellent BBC youth documentary series about LGBTQ issues in Britain, with episodes dedicated to religion, body image, homelessness, racism, porn, and queer identity Self-Portrait in 23 Rounds: A Chapter In David Wojnarowicz's Life, 1989-1991 (2018) and Keith Haring: Street Art Boy (2020) - long-form documentaries about two iconic gay artists, who died from HIV Shelter (2007) - cute yet slight low-budget drama about gay self-discovery in the American suburbs Sum Of Us (1994) - thoroughly affable Australian comedy-drama about a gay son and his accepting father; co-stars a young and pre-fame Russell Crowe Tales Of The City series (1993, 1998, 2001, 2019) - TV adaptation of seminal gay novel and its sequels A Taste of Honey (1961) - monochrome kitchen sink dramedy, with a gay male supporting character, which is set in Manchester Tofu (2015) - short-form web documentary series, from the creator of Queer As Folk, which explores modern attitudes towards sex, with a heavy emphasis on the LGBTQ side of it Trick (1999) - please take this idealistic overnight romance with a pinch of salt - even if it realistically tackles internalised homophobia in a way that Love, Simon never managed to do - but this superb dramedy is still one of the best and most pandemic-friendly gay movies The Outs (2012-2013, 2016) - largely realistic and utterly charming web drama about gay adulting in NYC, with a peerless soundtrack; I low-key stan the loveable Jack and Scruffy Verbotene Liebe (2007-2013) - surprisingly good supercouple plot from a German soap opera, involving a bisexual amateur boxer turned horse trainer, Christian, and his boyfriend/husband, Oliver The Way He Looks (2014) - cute Brazilian teen romance about blindness and self-discovery The Wedding Banquet (1993) - Oscar-nominated romantic comedy from China, directed by Ang Lee Weekend (2011) - minimalist and naturalistic weekend romance, set in the outskirts of Nottingham Wild Reeds (1994) - Cannes-nominated sexual awakening teen drama, set in early '60s France Music Little Earthquakes by Tori Amos (1992) - a very strong introduction to eccentric yet loveable piano-led college pop-rock Northern Star by Melanie C (1999) - British equivalent of Madonna's seminal Ray Of Light (1998) Blue Bell Knoll (1988) and Heaven Or Las Vegas (1990) by Cocteau Twins - pioneering ambient dream-pop, which are perhaps the ideal albums for jerk-off sessions and physical intimacy Doppelgänger by Curve (1992) - a gothic, melodramatic and moody fusion of shoegaze and industrial electronica; fans of Garbage will LOVE this album No Angel by Dido (1999) - another album that's ideal for masturbation and sex Disgraceful by Dubstar (1995) - slightly out of time, albeit still excellent, synth-pop from the mid '90s Chorus by Erasure (1991) - analogue-based synth-pop; will interest those into video game soundtracks, given that it practically sounds like music from Amiga titles at various points Amplified Heart by Everything But The Girl (1994) - eloquent fusion of acoustic folk-pop and electronica; Tracey Thorn's Record (2018) further consolidated her appeal to the LGBTQ community Sue (1989) and Ray (1991) by Frazier Chorus - arty and gentle woodwind-based synth-pop that also has the bitchiest and most subversive lyrics imaginable Chemistry by Girls Aloud (2005) and Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen (2015) - bubblegum pop artists that throw curveballs by unexpectedly moving into indie-baiting dance-pop territory Black Cherry by Goldfrapp (2003), State Of Mind by Holly Valance (2003), Come & Get It by Rachel Stevens (2005) and Trip The Light Fantastic by Sophie Ellis-Bextor (2007) - highly regarded electropop albums from the mid-2000s Françoise Hardy Sings In English by Françoise Hardy (1966), Infamous Angel by Iris DeMent (1992), Whatever by Aimee Mann (1993) and Out Of Range by Ani DiFranco (1994) - refined and superior singer-songwriter material Paradise AKA Big Fun by Inner City (1989), Adeva by Adeva (1989), And Still I Rise by Alison Limerick (1992) and Everybody's Free by Rozalla (1992) - underrated diva house albums from the late '80s and early '90s Bonito Generation by Kero Kero Bonito (2016) - day-glo dance-pop that's heavily influenced by The B-52s, J-pop, video game soundtracks, dancehall culture and mid-'90s Eurodance The Death Of Cool by Kitchens Of Distinction (1992), Copper Blue by Sugar (1992), The Sound Of McAlmont & Butler by McAlmont & Butler (1995), D-D-Don't Stop The Beat by Junior Senior (2002), The Smell Of Our Own by The Hidden Cameras (2003), i by The Magnetic Fields (2004) and Silent Alarm by Bloc Party (2005) - indie bands that are fronted/co-fronted by openly gay men Thinking It Over by Liberty X (2002) - surprisingly good R&B-led pop from talent show runner-ups Crooked Mile by Microdisney (1987) - includes Rack, one of the most articulate songs ever written about AIDS; the same applies to It Couldn't Happen Here from Actually by Pet Shop Boys (1987) Light Years by Kylie Minogue (2000) - perhaps the most cohesive introduction to the Australian queen Loveless by My Bloody Valentine (1991) - Mysterious Skin undoubtedly proves that shoegaze has LGBTQ appeal, although this is challenging stuff and not for the faint-hearted Passive Soul by Orlando (1997) - fragile and wallflowery pop that puts a heavy slant on the eclectic Behaviour by Pet Shop Boys (1990), Echoes by Will Young (2011) and Choreography by Bright Light Bright Light (2016) - gay introspection from 30-something Brits Very by Pet Shop Boys (1993) and The Tension & The Spark by Darren Hayes (2004) - 30-something coming out albums Different Class by Pulp (1995) and Coming Up by Suede (1996) - camp and glamorous yet laddy and seedy Britpop, which is largely preoccupied with drugs and sex A Secret Wish by Propaganda (1985) - gothic and literate synth-pop from Düsseldorf Body Talk by Robyn (2010) - boundary-pushing dance-pop from the Swedish queen Original Soundtrack by S-Express (1989) - one of the first UK house music albums to have originated from LGBTQ nightclubs Foxbase Alpha (1991), So Tough (1993) and Tales From Turnpike House (2005) by Saint Etienne - summery indie-dance cultural love letters to London; Pedro Almodóvar is a big fan of them Hormonally Yours by Shakespeares Sister (1992) - gothic, melodramatic, sassy and vampy glam pop-rock We Are Shampoo by Shampoo (1994) and On The Loose by Deuce (1995) - unashamedly trashy bubblegum pop; the latter band was created by former Pet Shop Boys manager Tom Watkins Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret by Soft Cell (1981) and Youthquake by Dead Or Alive (1985) - camp and melodramatic synth-pop from northern England Illinois (2005) and Carrie & Lowell (2015) by Sufjan Stevens - if you've seen the movie Call Me By Your Name (2017), then you'll know who this guy is La Varieté by Weekend (1982), Life by The Cardigans (1995), The Sound Of Music by Pizzicato Five (1995) and Good Humor by Saint Etienne (1998) - fey, kitschy and peppy lounge indie-pop Titanic Rising by Weyes Blood (2019), Saint Cloud by Waxahatchee (2020) and Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers (2020) - minimalist indie for hipsters YouTubers Sam Cushing - likeably grounded and motivated guy who plays the piano and loves his workouts Riyadh Khalaf - the Iranian-Irish vlogger presenter of Queer Britain Husband & Husband - nerdy married couple who write comic books and fantasy novels LanceTheDriver - adorable mature student who loves cars and constantly strives to do good Eric Mason - endearing and insightful lyrical breakdowns of songs by pop divas Jacob Michael - cerebral and eloquent musings on the state of modern gay life PK Creedon - good natured sporty couple who authentically fuse their femininity and masculinity PJ & Thomas - lovely suburban couple who work in real estate and have adopted a trio of toddlers Michael Rizzi and Dominick Whelton - sweet city boys who love their fashion and pop culture Noah Roth and Christian Cook - wholesome college-aged couple who love painting and the outdoors Stepsof2Foreigners - articulate and refined American-Brazilian couple who are into their travel
2019.12.03 22:05 lettertoapostleHow can we deal with myriad accusations of sexual harassment and abuse leveled at Joseph Smith?
In this day when all around us men in positions of power and influence are being made to account for their cowardly abuse and harassment of women, I think it altogether appropriate to raise the issue of Joseph Smith’s proclivity in this regard. In the last few years Comedians Bill Cosby and Louis C.K., as well as actors Jeremy Piven, and Kevin Spacey have been accused as well as producer Harvey Weinstein, NBC anchor Matt Lauer and the man who currently sits in the Oval Office. Sexual harassment is hardly a new phenomenon, but the deluge of disturbing allegations of sexual assault and harassment by powerful, high-profile men has prompted an increasing number of brave women to come forward with their harrowing tales of sexual abuse and harassment declaring, "me too!" We are all familiar with Lord Acton’s dictum that, “power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” The one thing all of those above have in common is power. The power of their position, the power of their wealth, the power of their celebrity. We have reports of Joseph Smith freely and openly bragged about his use of women. “He told me one day of a certain girl and remarked, that she had given him more pleasure than any girl he had ever enjoyed. I told him it was horrible to talk like this" ("Interview with William Law. March 30, 1887,"Daily Tribune: Salt Lake City, July 31, 1887). In 1827, Levi Lewis accused Smith of trying to seduce sixteen-year-old Eliza Winters and reports hearing Smith and Martin Harris say that, “adultery was no crime.” In 1832, we find Eli Johnson “furious because he suspected Joseph of being intimate with his sister Nancy Marinda Johnson.” It was this issue that led to the tarring and feathering of Smith and his near castration. A year later in 1833, Mrs. Alexander quoted Polly Beswick as saying: “It was commonly reported, Jo Smith said he had a revelation to lie with Vienna Jacques, who lived in his family. Polly told me, that Emma, Joseph’s wife told her that Joseph would get up in the middle of the night and go to Vienna’s bed. Polly said Emma would get out of humor, fret and scold and flounce in the harness. Jo would shut himself up in a room and pray for a revelation. When he came out, he would claim he had received one and state it to her and bring her around all right.” “Mrs. Warner [sic] Alexander, Statement , original in Stanley A. Kimball Papers,Southern Illinois University; typescript in Linda King Newell Collection,MS 447, Special Collections, Marriott Library, University of Utah, Salt Lake City, Utah.” In that same year, 1833 Miss Hill, a servant in the Smith household claimed that Smith made indecent proposals to her, “which created quite a talk amongst the people,” and which Smith supposedly admitted to Martin Harris. In 1933, Smith’s legal wife Emma witnessed Joseph ‘sealing’ the family’s 16-year-old maid in the barn. William E. McLellin tells us that Emma witnessed their actual copulation through a crack in the barn. William McLellin,Letter to Joseph Smith III, July 1872,Community of Christ Archives At some time before 1886, Sarah Pratt said that “Lucinda Harris who was a married lady, a very good friend of mine. When Joseph had made his dastardly attempt on me, I went to Mrs. Harris to unbosom my grief to her. To my utter astonishment, she said, laughing heartily:" “How foolish you are! I don’t see anything so horrible in it. Why I am his mistress since four years!” W[ilhem] Wyl [pseud. for Wilhelm Ritter von Wymetal], Mormon Portraits:A Study Based on Fact and Documents (Salt Lake City:Tribune Printing and Publishing, 1886). 60. Sarah Pratt. Sometime in late 1840 or early 1841 John C. Bennett, Joseph's friend reported that he told him that, “he was smitten by the "amiable and accomplished" Sarah Pratt and wanted her for one of his spiritual wives.” Sarah was at the time married to another man. Smith told Sarah, "Sister Pratt, the Lord has given you to me as one of my spiritual wives. I have the blessings of Jacob granted me, as God granted holy men of old, and as I have long looked upon you with favor, and an earnest desire of connubial bliss, I hope you will not repulse or deny me." To which Sarah replied, "And is that the great secret that I am not to utter, am I called upon to break the marriage covenant, and prove recreant to my lawful husband! I never will.” She added, "I care not for the blessings of Jacob. I have one good husband, and that is enough for me." To which Smith replied, "Sister Pratt, I hope you will not expose me, for if I suffer, all must suffer; so do not expose me. Will you promise me that you will not do it?” "I will ruin your reputation, remember that" (Bennett 1842a, 228-31) In the fall of 1841, Melissa Schindle was staying with the widow Fuller, who had recently been married to a Mr. Warren, in the city of Nauvoo, tells us under oath that Joseph Smith came into the room where she was sleeping at about 10 o’clock at night, and after making a few remarks came to her bedside, and asked her if he could have the privilege of sleeping with her. John C. Bennett, letter dated 27 June 1842, “Bennett’s Second and Third Letters,”Sangamo Journal, Springfield, Ill., 15 July 1842.Reproduced in Bennett’s History of the Saints: or, An Exposé of Joe Smith and Mormonism(Boston: Leland & Whiting, 1842), 253–54. In 1841 Catherine Fuller Warren also swears under oath that Smith got into bed with her without her invitation. Ibid, p.14 Joseph secretly “slept” with young Emily Partridge according to her own testimony under oath and certainly, without Emma’s knowledge or consent, Emily testified that she “roomed” with Joseph while Emma was somewhere else in the house on the night of their ‘marriage.’ Mormon Enigma, p. 144 As well, according to Benjamin F. Johnson, living in Ramus, Illinois, on May 16, 1843, Joseph shared a room with Eliza, the “daughter of the late Bishop Partridge. “Again, without the knowledge or consent of Emma. Mormon Enigma, p. 145 Emma discovered that sixteen‐year‐old Flora Woodworth was carrying a gold watch that Joseph had given her in August of 1843. Realizing the implications, Emma demanded that Flora give the watch back. Smith reprimanded her, but Emma refused to be quiet on the carriage ride home. William Clayton, Joseph’s secretary, that he had to employ “harsh measures” to stop her complaining. This raises the question, did Joseph physically abuse Emma. An Intimate Chronicle, p. 118 While there could be more, we now know of a surety that he had at least ten teenage brides, two just 14 years-of-age: Fanny Alger, 16 Sarah Ann Whitney, 17 Lucy Walker, 17 Flora Ann Woodworth, 16 Emily Dow Partridge, 19 Sarah Lawrence, 17 Maria Lawrence, 19 Helen Mar Kimball, 14 Melissa Lott, 19 Nancy M. Winchester, 14? Did he have sex with these young girls? Here’s what Helen Mar Kimball, just 14 confided to a close friend in Nauvoo about her marriage to Joseph Smith: “I would never have been sealed to Joseph had I known it was anything more than ceremony. I was young, and they deceived me, by saying the salvation of our whole family depended on it.” Any reasonable person knows that Helen meant it was sexual. As Jeremy Runnells puts it, “This is Warren Jeffs territory,” and had Joseph Smith conducted himself in this manner today, he would have rightfully been imprisoned as Jeffs has been. The sexual nature of Joseph Smith’s polygamous relationships must be acknowledged as the LDS scripture repeatedly stress it: “… for they are given unto him to multiply a replenish the earth and to bear the souls of men.” FairMormon in trying to justify Smith's sexual relationships with 14-year-olds says, “Joseph Smith's polygamous marriages to young women may seem difficult to understand or explain today, but in his own time such age differences were not typically an obstacle to marriage.” https://www.fairmormon.org/answers/Joseph_Smith/Polygamy FairMormon; please. ‘… Difficult to understand and explain today.’ Look at Warren Jeffs, the jury that put him away for life had little difficulty ‘understanding’ why, like Joseph Smith, Jeffs married very young girls. As the prosecution ‘explained,’ convincingly, it was all about SEX. I am sorry but a 37-year-old man ‘marrying’ a 14-year-old girl was very rare and certainly viewed with a jaundiced eye in Illinois in the 1830s and 1840s and the church’s attempt to make it sound like young girls barely out of puberty marrying middle-aged men was commonplace is deceitfulness. And let’s not forget it was also illegal. The notion that it was common in 19th-century America for girls 12 to14-year-old girls to marry is a myth. Just go to your town hall and ask to see the marriage records of the 1800s and you will see how unusual it was. So unusual was it for a 37-year-old man to marry a 14-year-old girl, that as I show in my Letter to an Apostle www.lettertoanapostle.org by use of 1840 US Census data, this 37/14 cohort was likely the only such union in Illinois or New York that year. I am not sure what point FairMormon, the church current cadre of apologists is trying to make by stating that, this child was instructed to marry the portly middle-aged Joseph Smith by her Dad. "My father was the first to introduce it to me, which had a similar effect to a sudden shock of a small earthquake. When he found (after the first outburst of displeasure for supposed injury) that I received it meekly." Compton, Todd (December 1997), In Sacred Loneliness: The Plural Wives of Joseph Smith, Salt Lake City: Signature Books. Don't forget 'dad' was Heber C. Kimball, the same guy who made the statement, “I think no more of taking another wife than buying a cow.” What a poor child. What a Dad!
2019.12.03 21:53 lettertoapostleHow can we deal with myriad accusations of sexual harassment leveled at Joseph Smith?
In this day when all around us men in positions of power and influence are being made to account for their cowardly abuse and harassment of women, I think it altogether appropriate to raise the issue of Joseph Smith’s proclivity in this regard. In the last few years Comedians Bill Cosby and Louis C.K., as well as actors Jeremy Piven, and Kevin Spacey have been accused as well as producer Harvey Weinstein, NBC anchor Matt Lauer and the man who currently sits in the Oval Office. Sexual harassment is hardly a new phenomenon, but the deluge of disturbing allegations of sexual assault and harassment by powerful, high-profile men has prompted an increasing number of brave women to come forward with their harrowing tales of sexual abuse and harassment declaring, "me too!" We are all familiar with Lord Acton’s dictum that, “power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” The one thing all of those above have in common is power. The power of their position, the power of their wealth, the power of their celebrity. Joseph Smith freely and openly bragged about his use of women. “He told me one day of a certain girl and remarked, that she had given him more pleasure than any girl he had ever enjoyed. I told him it was horrible to talk like this" ("Interview with William Law. March 30, 1887,"Daily Tribune: Salt Lake City, July 31, 1887). In 1827, Levi Lewis accused Smith of trying to seduce sixteen-year-old Eliza Winters and reports hearing Smith and Martin Harris say that, “adultery was no crime.” In 1832, we find Eli Johnson “furious because he suspected Joseph of being intimate with his sister Nancy Marinda Johnson.” It was this issue that led to the tarring and feathering of Smith and his near castration. A year later in 1833, Mrs. Alexander quoted Polly Beswick as saying: “It was commonly reported, Jo Smith said he had a revelation to lie with Vienna Jacques, who lived in his family. Polly told me, that Emma, Joseph’s wife told her that Joseph would get up in the middle of the night and go to Vienna’s bed. Polly said Emma would get out of humor, fret and scold and flounce in the harness. Jo would shut himself up in a room and pray for a revelation. When he came out, he would claim he had received one and state it to her and bring her around all right.” “Mrs. Warner [sic] Alexander, Statement , original in Stanley A. Kimball Papers, Southern Illinois University; typescript in Linda King Newell Collection, MS 447, Special Collections, Marriott Library, University of Utah, Salt Lake City, Utah.” In that same year, 1833 Miss Hill, a servant in the Smith household claimed that Smith made indecent proposals to her, “which created quite a talk amongst the people,” and which Smith supposedly admitted to Martin Harris. In 1933, Smith’s legal wife Emma witnessed Joseph ‘sealing’ the family’s 16-year-old maid in the barn. William E. McLellin tells us that Emma witnessed their actual copulation through a crack in the barn. William McLellin,Letter to Joseph Smith III, July 1872,Community of Christ Archives At some time before 1886, Sarah Pratt said that “Lucinda Harris who was a married lady, a very good friend of mine. When Joseph had made his dastardly attempt on me, I went to Mrs. Harris to unbosom my grief to her. To my utter astonishment, she said, laughing heartily: “How foolish you are! I don’t see anything so horrible in it. Why I am his mistress since four years!” W[ilhem] Wyl [pseud. for Wilhelm Ritter von Wymetal], Mormon Portraits, or the Truth about Mormon Leaders from 1830 to 1886, Joseph Smith the Prophet, His Family and His Friends: A Study Based on Fact and Documents (Salt Lake City: Tribune Printing and Publishing, 1886). 60. Sarah Pratt. Sometime in late 1840 or early 1841 John C. Bennett, Joseph's friend reported that he told him that, “he was smitten by the "amiable and accomplished" Sarah Pratt and wanted her for one of his spiritual wives.” Sarah was at the time married to another man. Smith told Sarah, "Sister Pratt, the Lord has given you to me as one of my spiritual wives. I have the blessings of Jacob granted me, as God granted holy men of old, and as I have long looked upon you with favor, and an earnest desire of connubial bliss, I hope you will not repulse or deny me." To which Sarah replied, "And is that the great secret that I am not to utter, am I called upon to break the marriage covenant, and prove recreant to my lawful husband! I never will.” She added, "I care not for the blessings of Jacob. I have one good husband, and that is enough for me." To which Smith replied, "Sister Pratt, I hope you will not expose me, for if I suffer, all must suffer; so do not expose me. Will you promise me that you will not do it?” "I will ruin your reputation, remember that" (Bennett 1842a, 228-31) In the fall of 1841, Melissa Schindle was staying with the widow Fuller, who had recently been married to a Mr. Warren, in the city of Nauvoo, tells us under oath that Joseph Smith came into the room where she was sleeping at about 10 o’clock at night, and after making a few remarks came to her bedside, and asked her if he could have the privilege of sleeping with her. John C. Bennett, letter dated 27 June 1842,“Bennett’s Second and Third Letters,”Sangamo Journal, Springfield, Ill., 15 July 1842. Reproduced in Bennett’s History of the Saints: or, An Exposé of Joe Smith and Mormonism.(Boston: Leland & Whiting, 1842), 253–54. In 1841 Catherine Fuller Warren also swears under oath that Smith got into bed with her without her invitation. Ibid, p.14 Joseph secretly “slept” with young Emily Partridge according to her own testimony under oath and certainly, without Emma’s knowledge or consent, Emily testified that she “roomed” with Joseph while Emma was somewhere else in the house on the night of their ‘marriage.’ Mormon Enigma, p. 144 As well, according to Benjamin F. Johnson, living in Ramus, Illinois, on May 16, 1843, Joseph shared a room with Eliza, the “daughter of the late Bishop Partridge. “Again, without the knowledge or consent of Emma. Mormon Enigma, p. 145 Emma discovered that sixteen‐year‐old Flora Woodworth was carrying a gold watch that Joseph had given her in August of 1843. Realizing the implications, Emma demanded that Flora give the watch back. Smith reprimanded her, but Emma refused to be quiet on the carriage ride home. William Clayton, Joseph’s secretary, that he had to employ “harsh measures” to stop her complaining. This raises the question, did Joseph physically abuse Emma. An Intimate Chronicle, p. 118 While there could be more, we now know of a surety that he had at least ten teenage brides, two just 14 years-of-age: Fanny Alger, 16Sarah Ann Whitney, 17Lucy Walker, 17Flora Ann Woodworth, 16Emily Dow Partridge, 19Sarah Lawrence, 17Maria Lawrence, 19Helen Mar Kimball, 14Melissa Lott, 19Nancy M. Winchester, 14? Did he have sex with these young girls? Here’s what Helen Mar Kimball, just 14 confided to a close friend in Nauvoo about her marriage to Joseph Smith: “I would never have been sealed to Joseph had I known it was anything more than ceremony. I was young, and they deceived me, by saying the salvation of our whole family depended on it.” Any reasonable person knows that Helen meant it was sexual. As Jeremy Runnells puts it, “This is Warren Jeffs territory,” and had Joseph Smith conducted himself in this manner today, he would have rightfully been imprisoned as Jeffs has been. The sexual nature of Joseph Smith’s polygamous relationships must be acknowledged as the LDS scripture repeatedly stress it: “… for they are given unto him to multiply a replenish the earth and to bear the souls of men.” FairMormon in trying to justify Smith's sexual relationships with 14-year-olds says*, “Joseph Smith's polygamous marriages to young women may seem difficult to understand or explain today, but in his own time such age differences were not typically an obstacle to marriage.”* https://www.fairmormon.org/answers/Joseph_Smith/Polygamy FairMormon; please. ‘… Difficult to understand and explain today.’ Look at Warren Jeffs, the jury that put him away for life had little difficulty ‘understanding’ why, like Joseph Smith, Jeffs married very young girls. As the prosecution ‘explained,’ convincingly, it was all about SEX. I am sorry but a 37-year-old man ‘marrying’ a 14-year-old girl was very rare and certainly viewed with a jaundiced eye in Illinois in the 1830s and 1840s and the church’s attempt to make it sound like young girls barely out of puberty marrying middle-aged men was commonplace is deceitfulness. And let’s not forget it was also illegal. The notion that it was common in 19th-century America for girls 12 to14-year-old girls to marry is a myth. Just go to your town hall and ask to see the marriage records of the 1800s and you will see how unusual it was. So unusual was it for a 37-year-old man to marry a 14-year-old girl, that as I show in my Letter to an Apostle www.lettertoanapostle.org by use of 1840 US Census data, this 37/14 cohort was likely the only such union in Illinois or New York that year. I am not sure what point FairMormon, the church current cadre of apologists is trying to make by stating that, this child was instructed to marry the portly middle-aged Joseph Smith by her Dad. "My father was the first to introduce it to me, which had a similar effect to a sudden shock of a small earthquake. When he found (after the first outburst of displeasure for supposed injury) that I received it meekly." Compton, Todd (December 1997), In Sacred Loneliness:The Plural Wives of Joseph Smith, Salt Lake City: Signature Books. Don't forget 'dad' was Heber C. Kimball, the same guy who made the statement, “I think no more of taking another wife than buying a cow.” What a poor child. What a Dad!
2018.08.29 17:00 CFB_RefereeThe 2018 Fulmer Cup Awards for Criminal Achievements in D1 Football
The 2018 Fulmer Cup™
Welcome to the Final Standings for the World's Most Prestigious College Football Award Based on Criminal Record, run by /CFB and based out of /TheFulmerCup. There are over 20,000 Division 1 college football players. As a whole, they have crime rates much lower than the general population. However when they do get in trouble (as 66 did this offseason), they get a lot of attention. For that reason we have The Fulmer Cup™. The Fulmer Cup is a parody award that tracks the criminal achievements of various college football programs during the offseason and declares a "winner". It is open to all Division 1 football programs (FBS & FCS), and points are awarded based on the level of crime (more details below). The Fulmer Cup season started the minute the national title game is finished and ended the minute of the the first game of FBS Week 0, this year on August 25. Without further ado, here are your 2018 winners:
The 13th Annual Fulmer Cup Rankings (FINAL)
NOTE: Team rankings require a minimum of 2 playecoaches; if a team only has one their score is marked as “NR” for Not Ranked, however if anyone else on the team gets cited for so much as jaywalking they'll qualify for the team competition and be ranked.
This was generally a quiet offseason compared to the last few. The total number of players receiving charges we've seen in each of the 5 years we've administered the Fulmer Cup are:
There are a few possibilities for such a dramatic reduction. It's possible that it was just an abnormally quiet offseason, it did feel that way for much of it at least. While half the normal case load seems quite low, it may be just to random chance. It's also possible that the growing notoriety of The Fulmer Cup has motivated D1 compliance departments and players to follow the rules and stay out of trouble. It's probably self-congratulatory to say we've helped here, but it is a possibility. It's also possible that we just weren't as thorough in finding charges this year. With a growing userbase this seems a bit unlikely, but it's also possible. A few major storylines to follow this year. Rutgers has become the first team in Fulmer Cup history to win the team award for a second time, and they did so with teamwork and following a storyline from last year. While Alcorn State was awarded last year's Fulmer Cup, Florida had 9 players receive 54 total felony charges that were earned during the offseason but not charged until after the season had started. These Florida players were charged with misusing university provided debit cards for credit card fraud, and while the charges came too late to win the cup, they were given a Special Achievement Award after the fact. A crew of 8 Rutgers players learned from Florida, and were charged with a very similar crime. These charges came in under the 2018 deadline. Brendan DeVera, K.J. Gray, Malik Dixon, Edwin Lopez, Kobe Marfo, Syhiem Simmons, C.J. Onyechi, Naijee Jones collectively netted 23 charges that included promoting organized street crime, money laundering, conspiracy to commit theft by deception, and fraudulent use of credit cards. This case also uncovered that Lopez had been separately charged with possession of marijuana, unlawful possession of a gun, and unlawfully concealing a handgun earlier in the offseason. They say that great artists steal, and stealing Florida's novel mechanism of stealing led Rutgers to a championship this year. It's a much more white collar crime to win the cup for than their 2015 spree of charges centering around conspiracy to commit a riot, but a win is a win for the world's oldest college football team. The leader for most of the offseason was Kennesaw State, a team entering only its 4th year in program history. A pair of their DBs, Jai'len Edwards and Akebren Ralls were charged with armed robbery, and Ralls additionally ran an illegal gambling house. North Alabama deserves special merit as they promoted to D1 halfway through the offseason, and only had one qualifying player, but the 3rd most points overall this offseason. Probably not the look they wanted their first year in D1. 3rd place Bowling Green deserves special recognition for consistency: they had 4 players receive charges over 5 separate months through the course of the offseason. No other team had charges in more than 3 months. We also had a pair of charges bookend the offseason. LSU LB Tyler Taylor was charged with conspiracy to commit a crime serving as a getaway driver for an armed robbery, just hours before the CFP Final. Kansas OL Malik Clark was charged with a DUI just hours after the first games of week 0. Neither of these offenses are eligible, but are worth special notice. Notable, but did not qualify for team category (only one player arrested):
North Alabama: 23 points
USC: 18 points
Utah State: 15 points
Florida: 15 points
Wisconsin: 14 points
LSU: 12 points
A total of 14 teams qualified for the cup with multiple players, and a total of 42 teams had at least one player receiving points.
The Ellis T. Jones III Award for Individual Achievement
Given to the individual player who contributes the most points to his team during the season, OR has the most incredible incident that resulted in Fulmer Cup points. Named after Ellis T. Jones III, a near-mythical student-athlete-criminal who caused an almost immediate rule change to the Cup (that a team requires at least two to qualify).
We had to run a bit of an unorthodox offensive scheme this year. Offensive Linemen for the 3rd consecutive year have been one of the best behaved groups in college football, and we only had 4 qualifying OL this year. Our First team offense consists of 4 OL, 1 QB, 2 RB, 1 TE, and 3 WR. No kickers or punters qualified this year.
The Coach Mike Haywood "Leading by Example" Award
Given to the coach or administrator who earns the most points and/or gets fired in the most embarrassing fashion. This award does not have to be awarded annually and is completely up to the Committee (also, after leaving the profession in 2010, Mike Haywood is back in coaching at FCS Texas Southern and does qualify for his own award).
This year's award goes to Zach Smith, whose case upended the end of the offseason and is still ongoing with large implications for Ohio State including the suspension of Head Coach Urban Meyer for 3 games. Zach Smith was formally charged with criminal trespass on May 12, 2018 at his ex-wife's apartment, but the investigation that resulted from that uncovered years of alleged abuse dating back to 2009, and other sordid details including sexual relations with Ohio State staffers in Ohio State offices, having thousands of dollars of sex toys delivered to his office, and photographic transmissions of his member from inside the White House. It's an unfortunate story that hasn't fully resolved yet. 6 other coaches were charged with crimes this offseason, including brand new D3 Football program Finlandia's HC Robert Boss, South Dakota State HC John StiegelMeier, Michigan Director of Performance Fergus Connolly, D2 Tuskegee Assistant Ramone Nickerson, Georgia Associate Equipment Manager Kevin Purvis, and Louisville TE Coach Chris Klenakis.
The Paul Dee Memorial Award for High Profile Compliance
"Because high-profile athletes demand high-profile compliance." Awarded to the conference that, through the fortuitousness of group effort, has the highest point total.
In Review: Big Ten beat out the SEC! FBS continued to generally outperform FCS, and every FBS conference was on the board. The Sun Belt was last in FBS, and the ACC was last among the P5.
The Switzer Sweep
This award goes to that rare team that manages to winning a National Championship, pull in a top recruiting class, and win The Fulmer Cup all in one calendar year. Like the national title according to some, this year was a complete split.
Alabama / UCF
#1 Recruiting Class
Georgia (247 Composite)
2018 Fulmer Cup
More about the Fulmer Cup:
The Fulmer Cup was created in 2006 by Spencer Hall of Every Day Should Be Saturday, and run by his website for six years. In 2014, he permitted /CFB to take over the award and this is the fourth year of its time under control of /CFB and its dedicated sub-section, /TheFulmerCup. Points are awarded by members of The Fulmer Cup Committee, made up of members of /CFB. The Fulmer Cup is a parody award, like the Razzies and Ig Nobel Prize, meant to track the criminal achievements of various college football programs during the offseason and declare a "winner". It is open to all Division 1 football programs (FBS & FCS), and points are awarded based on the level of crime. The Fulmer Cup season starts the minute the national title game is finished and ends before the first kickoff, this year on Saturday, Aug 25. Winners are crowned in team, conference, and individual award categories. Players qualify from the moment they enroll at the school (no commits or other recruits) until the depart or are dismissed from the team. For a crime to count, the player has to be on the team, i.e. not dismissed for unrelated things before the crime was committed (but if they were dismissed for a crime that they were later charged for, it counts). On very special occasions, a coach or athletic director arrested, cited or charged would count (as they go up the chain of command): Those are special occasions, and are left entirely up to the discretion of the Committee. Points must be documented. What is "documentation"? A court record, arrest record, or news article describing the citation, charges, and/or arrest. No arrest, citation, or charges: no points.
/CFB ("R-C-F-B") is the college football section of reddit.com, hosting its own community of over 450,000 subscribers and section traffic of over 1M unique hits and 15m total hits per month during the season while also maintaining a Twitter account, @RedditCFB (currently downrecently resurrected) with a following of over 130k. It hosts popular game threads, over 100 AMA (interviews) with notable CFB personalities, and does a number of charitable projects. It is run by an independent team of volunteer moderators. /TheFulmerCup is out of a separate subreddit to permit an easier tally of qualifying incidents; it has its own Twitter account, @TheFulmerCup. The current members of the Fulmer Cup Committee:
2018.06.17 04:34 Arrandora“I wondered then why he didn’t come in and ask for money to buy ice cream.”
EDIT: u/voiceofangel has better access to the articles than I do and has been kind enough to create an album of them, found here: https://imgur.com/a/pLyjSHO On Sunday, May 15, 1988, an eight-year-old child failed to answer the call of a neighborhood ice cream truck and go home to ask his mother for money. Half an hour later, at 7:30 PM, she reported him missing. Two days passed and then, on Tuesday, May 17, his battered, half-naked, strangled body was found under forest debris just a few hundred yards from his family’s apartment. Early leads dried up, and the case is cold, so cold that almost no one knows his name. What follows is information from news articles that are behind a paywall, and this case has had little attention in the ensuing decades. Apologies for the length. Joshua Randall Harmon was born on August 14, 1979, and had recently moved from Holcomb Crossing Apartments to 1456-B Raintree Crossing, Roswell, GA, outside of Atlanta. By many accounts he was a quiet boy, attending special education classes, who was easily scared and intimidated according to his mother. An uncle described him as a nature nut, loving the outdoors and enjoying the fact that his new home had woods and a lake behind it. While he had a learning disability, the family said he was well adjusted, if not too timid to wander off by himself, and had no behavioral issues. Joshua’s grandfather, Roy Carlisle, said that the boy told him on Sunday afternoon that he had had a run in with some older boys that roughed him up after a rock throwing incident. Afterward, he was back outside, and it wasn’t until he failed to come to collect his dollar in ice cream money that his mother knew something was wrong. She had been cooking dinner at the time when she heard the bells of the truck. At 7:20, family and neighbors began a search. Ten minutes later, after it was clear he was nowhere nearby, the police were called. Originally, it was thought he might be a runaway, albeit an unwitting one. Early theories were floated that he had gotten confused and had tried to go to his old home, a mile away, and became disoriented in the wooded area. He had only lived at his new apartment for three weeks after all. A 17-year-old neighbor girl and her boyfriend thought they say a boy matching his description (Blonde, 55 pounds, white shirt, and cutoff jeans) sliding down a steep embankment and going towards an opening in the fence at around 8 PM. Searches continued through Monday till dusk, and on Tuesday, more agencies joined and during this time the lake behind the complex was searched by divers. At 1 PM on Tuesday, May 18, the family got a call with someone saying “I’ve got you’re kid.” Police began tracing that call, but sadly, at about 3:30 PM, Lt. Donald Moss with the Roswell PD found Joshua's lifeless body under pine straw. The brush was thick, and his body was missed until the searchers were moving back towards the apartment complex. He had suffered blunt force trauma to the head, and it would only be an autopsy that revealed that he had died from asphyxiation. His missing clothing has never been listed in these articles as found, nor has it been released that I can find if he was sexually assaulted. It is believed that he died Sunday evening. His mother and step-father collapsed at the news, his mother had to be hospitalized due to her emotional state. His biological father, Larry Harmon of Douglasville, also participated in the search efforts, and collapsed to his knees, sobbing. Counselors were brought into Joshua’s school, Kimball Bridge Elementary (which no longer exists) and also at Mimosa to help the children who were understandably terrified and upset. Originally, the police had several leads and were aggressive on the case. In an added stroke of weirdness, an escaped convict was thrown into the mix. Norman Lewis Glenn, age 30, had been convicted of child molestation and sentenced to four to six years. He was serving his time at Fulton County Correctional Institution in Alpharetta, eight miles to the north, before escaping six hours before Joshua was declared missing. While originally considered a suspect, the lead detective, Lt. Joan Rollands, said that he was seen as not being involved about two days later, even though he was still at large. Joshua Harmon was buried on May 20, 1988, the Friday of the week he died. According to a tribute left by his mother, there were firetrucks stationed on the funeral route, something her son would have loved. There were other suspects above the age of 18, and Joshua’s grandfather, Roy Carlisle, was questioned aggressively. He was visiting from Illinois, and even two years later remained a suspect. A statement from the uncle alludes that Joshua's shirt was missing. His uncle, Chip Hullender, believed the shirt was removed due to it being white and easier to spot. What other clothing, if any, was disturbed isn’t mentioned. The phone call that came in a few hours before the body was found was determined to be a sick hoax. The Georgia Bureau of Investigation (GBI), in conjunction with the FBI, came up with a profile for the killer. GBI states that it is a 25-35-year-old male, white, average or above average intelligence, and probably lived close to the scene of the crime. They felt he was on his second or third marriage, that it was a strained relationship, and more than likely experiencing finical problems. Friends would describe him as explosive, and if confronted about it, become withdrawn, defensive, and argumentative. That he “clearly wishes to tell his side of the story, but is reluctant because he fears those close to him would not understand how he could have committed such a crime.” It was also stated that the GBI would have a computer database of unsolved violent crime running within a year. In an article two years after the murder, the family is still considered suspects. The step-father, Keith Laws, a payroll supervisor, was still considered a prime suspect at that time. He said about this: “I guess I put it in a proper place in my priorities. I know I’m innocent. I know there is no true physical evidence or no true circumstantial evidence to tie me to it.” [That final statement is just weird to me, coming from what is allegedly an innocent man.] Joshua’s mother, Cherie Laws, was still distraught and suffering over the death of her only son at the time of the last news article I've found, on March 12, 1990. She said she never wanted to cook, as that was what she had been doing at the time she realized her son was missing. Making a Sunday dinner of fried eggs and bacon, waiting for her only child to run in, looking for his ice cream money. The Assistant Medical Examiner, Joyce Vaughan, did mention that he was partially buried and it was a definite attempt to hide the body. They believed at the time that he was killed where he was found, but as to why they felt that or if they still did, later on, I don’t know. I can’t find later news information on this case at all, or if it was ever solved, or if anyone was arrested for it. I’ll keep looking, but going through years of articles in the one paper that seems to cover it – the story dries up in early 1990. He isn’t a name that shows up on a lot of lists of murdered children, or on the GBI list of unsolved homicides. After a certain point, it’s like he never existed at all, which is uncomfortable from an outsider point of view, let alone what it must do to his mother – who is currently 63, and in Dacula, Georgia (East of Roswell, on the outskirts of Atlanta as far as I can tell). I went down the rabbit hole on this one after his name came up on a thread here asking for information, and learning that if he had lived, he would be three months older than me. That and the travesty that there is so little information on him anywhere made me feel like his name should be put out there. $7,000 was raised as reward money, sitting in the bank back in 1990. I do not know if it still exists. I could not find information at this point on the escaped sex offender, Norman Lewis Glenn. The only one that pops in the DOJ database is Norman Oswald Glenn, born 1977, making him only a few years older, based on a 2008 conviction for rape, listed as still in jail. I would hazard a guess that the original felon is perhaps dead. If anyone wants to lend info on this or any aspect of this case, it would be appreciated. I am working on getting a contact in the Roswell PD and GBI, and well update when I learn more if anything. The main newspaper that covered this was The Atlanta Journal-Constitution (AJC). The articles are behind a paywall, so no direct link, but here is a link to the search engine: http://www.newslibrary.com/sites/ajc/ You can search for free and see the heading, plus first few lines. Searching for "Joshua Harmon" between the dates of May 15, 1988, and March, 30, 1990 will get you all the ones I've been able to find. I've looked farther but haven't seen anything else come up. I am more than happy to give the main info for each article on request. The AJC main website: https://www.ajc.com/ A YouTube video with the bare bones of this case is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMuqgrSgYIY Find a Grave: https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/100838653/joshua-randall-harmon (Mrs. Laws states in this entry that she and Joshua’s biological father, Larry Harmon, are back together, as seemingly confirmed by a later obituary). The Compassionate Friends May/June 2002 Newsletter: http://www.tcfatlanta.org/Newsletters/MayJune2002.pdf Joshua is listed in the memorial section by his mother. TCF is an organization that helps grieving families who have lost their children through any means. Obituary for who is probably Joshua’s paternal grandmother, Marjorie Marie Harmon, who passed 1/15/2015, which lists Cherie Harmon as her daughter-in-law, and lists his biological father, Larry Harmon, alive at that time: http://www.douglascountysentinel.com/obituaries/marjorie-harmon/article_417603e6-9d03-11e4-8020-9f6f000d061f.html (originally published in AJC, 1/16/2015) Final thought – It feels exceptionally weird that even for a local case this fell off the radar over two decades ago. Personally, I feel it was a family thing, either the step-father, grandfather, or both involved in the death of this little boy. For me there are two scenarios: Scenario One – Step-father or grandfather had an incident with the boy. When realizing that he was critically injured, there was panic, and it could have been they didn’t know he was still alive until out in the woods and strangled him to dispose of the mess. Seeing as the body was so well hidden, and clothes removed that would hinder finding him, to me, it suggests an older person, instead of some older boys from the rock throwing incident. I don’t think the mom knew, but I also don’t know if there were domestic disturbances in this marriage and denial is a powerful drug. I’m curious to know if the mom was home all day Sunday, and what that apartment floors are made out of. Out of experience from living in an old house, blood seeps through wood and can be a nasty surprise when renovating. Scenario Two – Wrong place, wrong time. Given the escaped convict and so far not being able to find anything else about him, it could be that this man chose this location that was central yet still hidden to lay low. Joshua happened upon him, (or any other bad happening really out there), got a blow to the skull, and upon realizing the damage, he was killed and hidden. For the last bit of weird – there’s an entry on Ancestory.com that has a Joshua Randall Harmon, but his birthdate is listed as 14 April 1979, instead of August. His date of death is still listed as 15 May 1988, Roswell, Ga. His biological father is listed as Larry Harmon – 1952 -1982. Maybe just a really weird fluke, but creepy, and the rest of the family tree is marked as private. *Apologies for the paywall - I did contact mods over this issue as I think if this case is still unresolved, this boy's name should be out there. For any info in the articles, please ask.
2018.05.27 14:19 ElementaryfanModern, possibly still active serial killers, part 2: Chicago Strangler [likely more than one perpetrator, maybe even more than one serial killer]
Just a clarification: I posted this yesterday, but it was removed because the threads were too close apart (I posted four of them in about two hours), so I am reposting this thread today. Since 2001, at least 75 women have been murdered in Chicago area, in a relatively similar way; they have been strangled or smothered, their bodies dumped in alleys, dumpsters, vacant buildings, etc. Autopsy reports ashowed that some victims were also raped and beaten. Many of the victims led high-risk lives and had a prior criminal record for prostitution and drug offences, though some had no criminal record. Statistics showed that strangulation is one of the main ways people in the sex trade have been murdered in Chicago over the last two decades. The women ranged in ages, from 18 to 58. Most of them were African American. Twenty five of those cases have been solved, with thirteen men being arrested and charged, several for more than one murder. The remaining fifty murders remain unsolved. Statistics show that there are clusters of strangulation around the Washington park on the South Side and Garfield Park on the West Side. Twenty seven of those murders have happened in three police districts on the West, South and Far South side, areas notorious for violence and drug use; only two have been solved to date. Kaethe Morris Hoffer, executive director of the Chicago Alliance Against Sexual Exploitation, recently stated: "It is a staggering number. It is odd how easy it is to disrupt people's sense of comfort when a large number of people are killed at once. (?!) It is likewise to realize how, if you spread out over a longer period of time, how inured people are to the murdering of women, particularly marginalized women." Though it is unlikely that all fifty unsolved murders are the work of the same killer, Mikki Kendall, a well-known feminist author, who noticed a pattern in Chicago murder statistics years ago, claims that at least ten murders are likely the work of the same perpetrator. All ten of those victims have been African American women between the ages of 20 and 40; they were all prostitutes and drug users; they were both strangled to death, some of them being beaten and raped prior to the murder; in all ten cases, the killer dumped the bodies in either vacant buildings or isolated alleyways. Also, two women were strangled and left in burning trash bins in two days period, in November 2007, around Washington Park. Theresa Bunn, age 21, eight months pregnant at the time, was found murdered south of the park, while Hazel Lewis, age 52, was found the next day, north of the park, behind an elementary school. Those murders were almost certainly committed by the same killer, though the pathology seems to be consistent with the spree killer, rather than a serial killer. Both murders remain unsolved. Perhaps one of the most harrowing of those cases is the murder of Margaret Gomez. A dozen years ago, Margaret Gomez left home for the last time, chasing a heroin addiction that crushed the spirit of the slight, doe-eyed young woman. Her mother, also named Margaret Gomez, had moved her daughter to the western suburbs when she was a child in search of streets safer than outside her Little Village home. Gomez said her family was stable. She had high expectations for her daughters, who were close to one another. And she was a strict mother, she said, unafraid to ground her children for months if they broke rules. Her daughter thrived for a time. She was on the cheerleading squad. She loved art and was featured, with a toothy smile, on the front page of the local paper after winning a contest. But Gomez said her daughter was shy, had low self-esteem and, like most adolescents, longed for friends. “She just wanted everyone to like her. She wanted friends. And this is what happened to her.” Margaret Gomez was strangled and killed over 10 years ago in Chicago, and the case remains unsolved. The family believes Margaret got addicted to drugs while hanging out at a park near the family home. She had a boyfriend who used drugs. She was crazy about him. Soon she went missing for days and would return home battered, her glasses often broken. Through tears, family members recalled their desperate efforts over four years to help her. They found a spot at a rehab facility, but her boyfriend wouldn’t go with her and she refused to go without him. Friends of the family who worked in law enforcement would often track her down on the West Side and bring her home. Her mother would sometimes take harrowing drives in search of her wayward daughter. There were patches of success. Margaret earned her GED and worked as a waitress, a job listed on her death certificate. Along with her sisters, she received First Communion and was confirmed as an adult, two rites of passage in their Catholic faith. As with many of the women found strangled, addiction had a tight grip on Margaret. Here’s how she described herself in a letter left on her mother’s dining room table months before she was killed: “Momma,” she wrote in pencil on lined paper her mother keeps neatly folded inside a plastic baggie. “I wanted to let you know how thankful I am having such a forgiving, caring + determend mother. … I know how much stress + heart ach I put you through and I want to apologize and promise it won’t happen again. I had hit a point where I had become real weak and I don’t know how I let it get that bad. .. I only want improvements from this day on. I LOVE YOU + LOVE how your always on my side no matter what.” Margaret’s body was found in a gravel lot in the 4200 block of South Knox Avenue on the Southwest Side. She was partially clothed, lying on her back in mud, a brown rope around her neck. On her upper back was a tattoo that read, “Love Mom.” She was 22. The family says police pushed hard to gather evidence in the initial weeks. But in retrospect, family members think investigators focused on the wrong suspect. After about a month, the drive of the detectives seemed to ease, they said. No arrest was made. More than a decade later, altar candles remain lit on dressers and walls. “I just ask Jesus if he would find the killers,” Gomez said of her nightly routine. “And I tell her I love her.” Interesting enough, a similar string of murders also occurred in late 1990s and early 2000s. A special task force was formed, and eventually, forty murders were solved, with dozens of men being arrested and charged, some for multiple murders. The task force was eventually disbaned, but the murders continued. Another big problem, that makes everything even more complicated and muddles the waters, is that Chicago has not been reporting its clearance rates (a percentage of murders solved) since 1995, and there are no laws obliging cities or states to do that. The whole state of Illinois arguably has the worst clearance rate in the USA. http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-met-chicago-women-strangled-20180103-story.html (currently unavailable, but the site will probably come back up soon; I have a copy of the article on my computer in case it doesn't, I can post it) https://thecrimereport.org/2018/01/15/fifty-one-unsolved-womens-deaths-in-chicago/ https://youtube.com/watch?v=xmtlArN_3iM Any questions? Comments? Theories? Feel free to discuss.
2018.04.14 20:33 SaintRidley30 Days of Women's Wrestling Trailblazers Bonus! - Day 31 LuFisto, Sara Del Rey, Mercedes Martinez, MsChif, and Cheerleader Melissa
Thank you so much for reading along with the 30-day series. I have one more post for you, and it’s a bonus. Today we look at the careers of five of the most important women in modern American independent wrestling, on whose backs the real Divas/Women’s (R)Evolution began. I would also like to plug the new subreddit /QueensoftheRing for more discussion about women’s wrestling, past and present. Prologue All five of these women got their starts in the late 90s-early 2000s at a time when women’s wrestling in the United States was very much an endangered species. Following the collapse of the territory system, it didn’t exist but for the occasional filler match in WCW and ECW, the AWA was dead, the NWA World Women’s Championship was inactive, few of the remaining holdout territories that hadn’t folded offered anything at all, and Moolah had sold her title to the WWF. You had GLOW, POWW, LMLW, the LPWA, and WOW – all short-lived women’s promotions – holding the torch alive for women’s wrestling at a time when women’s wrestling was a falling star. The Professional Girl Wrestling Association of Penny Banner was the only long-lasting women’s organization, and mostly facilitated booking girls through other promotions. The only major promotion to sustain interest in women’s wrestling for any length of time was the WWF. Despite that, the WWF Women’s Championship had a troubled history. There was the Original Screwjob (which frankly seems far less original when you know about Burke and Byers, but Moolah had done enough to largely erase the contributions of the women who came before her from the business). There was the deactivation of the title during Rockin Robin’s reign. There was the revival with Madusa as Alundra Blayze and the partnership with AJW, only for the division to be shuttered once again. By the close of the century, the WWF revived women’s wrestling within itself once more as little more than a booby prize, an excuse to titillate the audience by giving it to whomever Vince McMahon thought had the nicest breasts that day. This is a time when the championship was won by stripping the opponent, or wrestling in gravy, or losing a match by being stripped to your underwear (as Debra did), or by a man in drag as a joke, where at no point did the concept of wrestling seem to even factor into the picture. The Divas division of the post-Lita and Trish era is derided as being the nadir of women’s wrestling in WWE but compared to the Attitude Era prior to the folding of WCW it would have seemed a golden age. That is what women’s wrestling was as the five women profiled today were first breaking into the business, and each of them balked and said that wasn’t for them. Each took their own path to improving the situation on the independent scene, and all five would come together at the Berwyn Eagles Club in Berwyn, Illinois, where Dave Prazak and Allison Danger made the daring attempt to start an all-women wrestling promotion in the United States that aimed to be more like AJW, GAEA, Jd’, or JWP than any American women’s promotion had ever tried to be. That promotion, SHIMMER, is still the shining star of the independent scene for women in American wrestling thirteen years later. The following five women could very well be considered the five pillars of women’s independent wrestling in the 21st century. Without their work, as well as that of the others they’ve wrestled and trained, SHIMMER would probably not be the success story it is and women’s wrestling in America would potentially still be endangered. LuFisto Born on February 15, 1980 in Sorel, Quebec, Genevieve Goulet became interested in wrestling when she saw tapes of Manami Toyota, Bull Nakano, and Akira Hokuto. Luna Vachon and her unique look, however, was a much more local inspiration. After being coached through training by Pierre Marchessault and Patrick Lewis, retired wrestler Lise Raymond gave LuFisto the final pep talk that cemented everything together. LuFisto was advised to stand up for herself and never let wrestlers who didn’t want women in wrestling demean her, and that it’s “better to be a bitch and secure one’s spot than to get along with them” (Laprade and Murphy, 358). LuFisto debuted as Lucifer in 1997, wrestling across Canada, the U.S., Europe and Japan. Over the course of these early years she became Luscious Lucy, then Precious Lucy, and finally LuFisto. She made her mark as a hardcore wrestler and was soon known as the First Lady of Hardcore, leading to an invitation to wrestle some extreme shows for Lucha Libre Femenil, before taking a two-month tour of Japan where she trained with Sara Del Rey and Kana. Somehow, LuFisto has never been signed to a major promotion. She talked to WCW in 2000, though for obvious reasons (namely, their freefall collapse) nothing came of this. In 2009 she nearly signed with TNA, but the arrival of Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff put an end to that. LuFisto heard rumblings that it was due to her looks, as she didn’t look “enough like the Beautiful People” (Laprade and Murphy, 357). She had a tryout with TNA in 2012, and tried to enter both TNA’s Gut Check Challenge and WWE’s Tough Enough, but was passed over. LuFisto has reason to claim responsibility for the legalization of intergender wrestling in Ontario. That began in April 2003, when a hardcore intergender tag team match she was scheduled for was cancelled due to another promoter filing a complaint with the Ontario Athletic Commission (predictably, these rules only applied to independent wrestling, as WWE had run intergender matches in Ontario without interference from the Commission). LuFisto enlisted the help of the Ontario Human Rights Commission, making the case that “the regulation in question was a violation of [her] human rights, based on [her] gender” (Laprade and Murphy, 362). On May 10, 2006, the Ontario Athletic Commission not only lifted the ban on intergender wrestling, but deregulated professional wrestling completely. OAC commissioner Ken Hayashi said of the decision:
It's been something we've been considering for a while. There's been a lot of requests from promoters for de-regulation. The bottom line is there were no real health and safety regulations (to oversee), that's the main thrust of this office. Wrestling is choreographed, pre-arranged. I think we are the only jurisdiction in Canada that still regulates it. It was just a matter of time and that time has come; we no longer regulate professional wrestling.
Of the five women profiled today, LuFisto has been wrestling the longest. Despite this, she is the only one not to be a SHIMMER original, making her debut in SHIMMER on volume 7. She’s appeared on 65 of SHIMMER’s 100 volumes (and will likely add to that number today and tomorrow as volumes 101-104 tape), and has wrestled numerous times against and alongside women like Cheerleader Melissa, Kana, Mercedes Martinez, Rain, Kellie Skater, the Canadian Ninjas, and Amazing Kong. For the past 20 years, LuFisto has been a constant force on the independent scene, where she’s earned numerous accolades. Among her past championship accomplishments are the CZW Iron Man Championship (the first woman to win it), two reigns with the NCW International Femmes Fatales Championship, the WSU World Championship, and numerous others from smaller promotions. She’s won several tournaments, including the 2007 IWA Mid-South Queen of the Deathmatch tournament, the 2007 Sherri Memorial Cup Tournament (with partner El Generico), and the 2010 NCW Femmes Fatales Championship Tournament. Other honors include being inducted into the Association de Lutte Féminine Quebec Female Wrestling Hall of Fame and winning the 2008 CZW Best of the Best People’s Choice award. LuFisto is, at the time of writing, the current reigning Shine champion. LuFisto suffered a stroke on April 17, 2010, but it only kept her out of the ring for a month and a half. There’s no doubt she’s one of the toughest women in professional wrestling today. She was recently diagnosed with cervical cancer. The easiest way you as a fan can help LuFisto with her medical bills (she’s Canadian, but because she is now an American citizen she has to deal with American healthcare) by visiting her website and buying merch. Matches NGX May 7, 2005, vs. Princesa Sugey, hardcore match CZW November 10, 2007, vs. Sabian ALF October 12, 2007, with El Generico vs. Misty Haven and Alex von Payton (round 1 Sensational Sherri Memorial Cup SMASH August 18, 2013, vs. Vanessa Kraven CZW Prelude to Violence May 31, 2014, with Kimber Lee vs. Jessicka Havok and Nevaeh Beyond #HOGxBEYOND June 17, 2016, vs. Sonya Strong Beyond Over-Nite Sensation December 11, 2016, vs. Kimber Lee Beyond #Caffeine April 2, 2017, vs. Deonna Purrazzo Beyond Feeling Minnesota April 30, 2017, with Jordynne Grace (Team PAWG) vs. Anthony Greene and Brick Mastone (ΑΣΣ) Sara Del Rey The Death Rey, the Queen of Wrestling, The American Angel. Sara Del Rey has gone by many names, but she was born Sara Ann Amato on November 13, 1980 in Martinez, California. She started wrestling in 2001 after being trained by Brian Danielson, and today she’s the assistant head coach in WWE’s Performance Center, being the driving force behind the rise in quality of WWE’s women’s division. A year after her debut in 2001, Del Rey was accepted to a tour with ARSION in Japan, where she sat under the learning tree of Aja Kong and truly began to hone her craft. She wrestled in Japan and Mexico, and wound up back in the United States to take part in the first taping for Dave Prazak’s new all-women’s promotion SHIMMER, where she and Mercedes Martinez fought to a time-limit draw in their first match together. SHIMMER was at that time closely-affiliated with Ring of Honor, and Del Rey was a fixture of the nascent Women of Honor division, as well as in CHIKARA. In SHIMMER, Del Rey was the de facto locker room leader. She was there to wrestle for the first 48 shows without missing a one before she was signed to WWE. She was the ace of the promotion, and in the words of Dave Prazak she was someone “young wrestlers looked up to” as “someone to aspire to be like because she proved that gender doesn’t have to hold one back from being a top-flight pro wrestler.” Del Rey won the 2007 tournament to crown the first SHIMMER Champion, and in 2010 she got to have a dream match, partnering with Claudio Castagnoli against Manami Toyota and Mike Quackenbush. In 2011 she got to wrestle and defeat Aja Kong, Tsubasa Kuragaki, and Ayako Hamada. Del Rey is one of the rare few wrestlers from outside of Japan to have defeated Asuka at any point in her career, and one of only two to do it twice. And in 2012 she got the rare distinction of placing #430 in the PWI 500 after having defeated such male wrestlers as Castagnoli and El Generico (Laprade and Murphy, 408). From March to July 2012, she and Courtney Rush were the SHIMMER Tag Team Champions as the Queens of Winning, making her the first woman to have won both the SHIMMER Tag Team and singles championships. Del Rey signed with WWE in 2012 and retired from active wrestling, taking on her current role of trainer in the Performance Center. It’s her “lifelong passion,” she told Vice. Her enduring legacy is WWE’s revived, revitalized, revolutionized women’s division. Matches ROH , vs. Taeler Hendrix ROH, vs. Amazing Kong AIW, vs. Hailey Hatred SHIMMER June 2, 2007, vs. Lacey to crown the first SHIMMER champion Jersey All Pro Wrestling, December 11, 2010, vs. LuFisto for the JAPW Women’s Championship SHIMMER October 2, 2011, with Madison Eagles vs. Ayumi Kurihara and Ayako Hamada for the SHIMMER Tag Team Championship Bonus promo segments: Sara tries to find a partner on SHIMMER volume 47 Mercedes Martinez Born Jasmine Benitez on November 17, 1980 in Waterbury, Connecticut, Mercedes Martinez grew up as a fan of professional wrestling and was inspired by wrestlers like Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage. GLOW gained a fan in her as well. She played basketball in high school and college until she was injured and had to quit. That’s when she learned of a new pro wrestling school opened by Jason Knight (Laprade and Murphy, 244). Like LuFisto, she’s never been signed by a major promotion, though she has worked a few matches for ROH and WWE in her tenure. Within a month of beginning her training, Martinez had her debut match in 2000, and Knight gave her the name Mercedes Martinez. She made the rounds of the New England independent circuit, impressing enough to impress Dave Prazak, who brought her in to main event SHIMMER’s first show in a time-limit draw against Sara Del Rey, the first of 69 volumes she has wrestled on for SHIMMER (possibly as many as 73 after this weekend). In 2005 and 2006 Martinez worked the indies, being a highlight of SHIMMER’s shows and in 2007 she became part of Ring of Honor’s Vulture Squad stable. She won several titles, including the NWA Midwest/IWA Mid-South Women’s Championship, the WXW Cruiserweight Championship, and the WXW Women’s Championship. In 2006 Martinez was given a tryout with WWE in a match against Victoria, but she wasn’t what they were looking for (Laprade and Murphy, 345).
“I was told to revamp myself,” she said, in reference to the feedback the WWE road agents provided following the match. “My style was too aggressive for them – too hardcore, too strong-style. I had to tone it down and we could go from there. I didn’t want to water down myself and be something they wanted me to be when I knew what I was capable of at that time.” So Martinez said thanks but no thanks and went back to the independents. “I don’t regret turning them down because what they wanted wasn’t right for me,” she said. If what’s going on now [a greater emphasis on athleticism and workrate] had happened 10 years ago, I believe I would have been there.”
One of Martinez’s biggest accomplishments came under Sean McCaffrey’s stewardship of Women Superstars Uncensored. She was brought in as a top star and a booker, winning the WSU championship on March 7, 2009. Martinez made many marks in history during her feud with Angel Orsini, including the first women’s bullrope match, and on June 6 in an Iron Man match. Feeling a 30 minute match would be too easy and even ho-hum, they made a 60 minute match that went into sudden death overtime, ending at a final time of ~71 minutes, officially becoming the longest women’s match ever (blowing away every the 60-minute draw in AJW and even the 63 minute no contest claimed on Mildred Burke’s behalf for her shoot with June Byers). Martinez would hold the title for three years before dropping it to Jessicka Havok, but not before breaking her own record in a title defense on August 6, 2011 against Lexxus (Impact’s Alisha Edwards) that went 73 minutes. In 2017 Martinez was part of WWE’s Mae Young Classic, where she advanced to the semi-final before losing to a familiar face from SHIMMER: Shayna Baszler. Baszler, Martinez, and Nicole Savoy were a stable in SHIMMER at the time called Trifecta, with Martinez as the SHIMMER champion and Savoy as the Heart of SHIMMER champion, with Baszler as the extra muscle. Following the tournament, Baszler signed with WWE, and Aja Kong was brought in as a new third member of Trifecta, with Martinez explicitly calling her the new #2 of the group, to the annoyance of Savoy. Savoy would turn on Trifecta and win the SHIMMER Championship from Martinez. Martinez unsuccessfully challenged Savoy for the title at SHIMMER 100. Martinez is a highly decorated champion with nearly thirty championship reigns in her career. She is currently the SHINE Tag Team champion with Ivelisse as well as the WSU Champion (in her third reign). She recently lost the NCW Femmes Fatales International Championship to Vanessa Kraven and the SHIMMER Championship to Nicole Savoy. In 2014 Martinez was inducted into the WXW Hall of Fame, and in 2017 she was inducted into the WSU Hall of Fame. In 2011 she was #2 in the PWI Female 50. She’s still going strong, as well as teaching newer wrestlers through seminars with RISE. Matches WWE Heat June 12, 2006, vs. Victoria (tryout match) SHIMMER October 2, 2011 and March 17, 2012, vs. Athena (highlights from vols. 43 and 44, entirety of the match from vol. 45) AAW November 26, 2016, vs. Kimber Lee for the SHIMMER championship WWE Network July 14, 2017 Mae Young Classic round of 16, vs. Princesa Sugehit July 14, 2017 Mae Young Classic quarterfinal, vs. Abbey Laith July 14, 2017 Mae Young Classic semifinal, vs. Shayna Baszler Nov. 15, 2017 NXT, vs. Ember Moon MsChif Rachel Frobel, née Collins, was born in 1976 in St. Louis, Missouri. A microbiologist by trade, she was profiled on The Secret Life of Scientists and Engineers (herearesomeclips), where she revealed that her inspiration to wrestle came when a secretary asked her what she would do if she could pick any thing fun to do in life. She began training in 2000, one of only two women in her class and the only one who stuck with it past two shows. She debuted in July 2001, and wrestled intergender matches until Daizee Haze came into the picture. The two worked each other and as partners across the Midwest independents, and in 2005 the two took part in the first SHIMMER taping. Haze wrestled Lacey in the main event while MsChif wrestled an intense brawl against Cheerleader Melissa. With her banshee scream and imposing look, MsChif by all appearances should have been the heel, but in reality she was the face of the match. In her tenure with SHIMMER, MsChif would wrestle on 52 volumes. MsChif won the NWA World Women’s Championship from Christie Ricci in January 2007. MsChif explains that NWA promoter “Ed Chuman really wanted to kick up the women’s division and get it out into the spotlight,” perhaps an attempt to reverse some of the damage it had done to its own reputation in women’s wrestling during the early TNA years, but “unfortunately, several of the NWA promotions didn’t have a lot of money and weren’t willing to invest in women’s wrestling. It never took off quite the way Ed wanted” (Laprade and Murphy, 368). Around this time, MsChif would say that she had no intention of going to WWE, explaining:
It’s sad to me to see talented women wrestlers go to waste because the WWE won’t really let them wrestle. Instead they use them as nothing more than sex objects. I don’t ever want to leave wrestling the way I wrestle now. I don’t want to be told what I can and can’t do.
She would lose the title to Amazing Kong in April, before winning it back on April 27, 2008, the day after she won the SHIMMER Championship from Sara Del Rey. She would hold the SHIMMER Championship for 715 days before dropping it to Madison Eagles, the longest reign with the title on record, and would hold onto the NWA World Women’s Championship for 818 days before dropping it to Tasha Simone. She was also the NWA Midwest Women’s champion for four years during this period. This time as a triple champion helped her earn her spot at #4 on the PWI Female 50 for 2009. MsChif married Michael Elgin on July 4, 2013, and they had a child in September 2015. MsChif’s last match to date was on May 11, 2014. If she intends to return to the ring in the foreseeable future, she hasn’t said, but she has also not made any official statement of retirement. She’s not ready just yet to close the door on wrestling (Laprade and Murphy, 369). Matches ROH, vs. Daizee Haze, Lacey, and Ashley Lane EWF, with Christina Eerie vs. Candice LeRae and Davina Rose SHIMMER April 7, 2007, vs. Amazing Kong RQW 2007, vs. Eden Black and Cheerleader Melissa for the RQW Women’s Championship D1W June 7, 2013, vs. Crazy Mary Dobson Cheerleader Melissa Born Melissa Anderson on August 17, 1982 in Los Angeles, Cheerleader Melissa is a second generation wrestler. Her father, Doug Anderson, had her attending Cauliflower Alley Club banquets from the time she was a teenager. When his tag team partner opened a wrestling school in San Bernadino, she signed up at the age of 15. She trained under the tutelage of Billy Anderson (no relation, but he was her father's tag team partner) and began touring the All Pro Wrestler circuit as a manager to the Ballard Brothers, a pair of heelish hockey players as their villainous cheerleader. She received additional training from Christopher Daniels and Brian Danielson before having her first match in 1999 on her 17th birthday, where she lost to Lexi Fyfe. She thought “Cheerleader Melissa” would be just a temporary thing, but she “realized very quickly that in the field of sports entertainment, that the name Melissa wasn’t marketable – it wasn’t catch and not getting people’s attention at all” (Laprade and Murphy, 354). In 2002 Melissa was invited to Japan to work with ARSION, wrestling against Lioness Asuka on her 20th birthday. By 2004 her hard work was already paying off, when the Cauliflower Alley Club gave her their Future Legend Award. They weren’t wrong. On the West coast she wrestled for ChickFight, and when SHIMMER opened its doors in 2005, she was right there on the first show, proving her heel credentials against MsChif. The most prolific wrestler for the promotion, she has wrestled on 89 volumes of SHIMMER (and likely more this weekend), most recently defeating Shotzi Blackheart at SHIMMER 100. As far as SHIMMER goes, she wrestled the most consecutive volumes of any SHIMMER wrestler, working the first 60 volumes. She would have wrestled the first 80 straight volumes if not for having to get stitches at the hospital following a match with LuFisto on volume 60, forcing her to only appear in a run-in on 61 after rushing from the hospital to make the show in time. Melissa would become the SHIMMER champion in 2011 by defeating Madison Eagles. She would lose it to Saraya Knight, before regaining it on April 6, 2013 by defeating Knight in SHIMMER’s first ever cage match to become the first two-time SHIMMER champion (an honor only she and Mercedes Martinez share). This helped make her #1 on the PWI Female 50 for 2013. Through her time in SHIMMER, she also became only the second American to have two pinfall victories against Kana (WWE's Asuka). All the while, Melissa tried out for WWE in 2006, though she was passed over. She was at one point considered for a spot in WWE prior to that tryout, but nothing came of it due to a change in direction (namely, the dropping of the Muhammad Hassan character). She was originally to have been part of the Muhammed Hassan and Khosrow Daivari group, and this led to the persona she adopted when she first joined TNA in 2008 as Raisha Saeed. She managed Awesome Kong and occasionally wrestled in this role, but she was criminally underused. At some point someone in TNA realized this, so they asked her to do double duty. She debuted as Alissa Flash in 2009 and wrestled outside the niqab all while also wearing it to wrestle for and/or against Kong as well (October 20 and 21, 2009, for instance saw her wrestle as Saeed one day and Flash the next, losing to Awesome Kong and Tara, respectively). She requested her release from TNA in 2010 due to feeling underused. In 2014 she was made president of Stardom’s American branch, responsible for booking American talent for Stardom shows. In that role she and Madusa have had many conversations relating to the struggles of being a woman in wrestling (Laprade and Murphy, 356-57).
“When I talk to Madusa, I sometimes feel like I’m talking to a version of myself from the future. We’ve had so many of the same experiences. When she worked for some of the bigger companies, she would struggle because she had trained in Japan with that style. She would wrestle and the men would be pissed that they had to follow her. I was like, ‘Oh God, you too?’”
2017.06.13 12:56 feedredditTRUMP’S lunch companions today -- FIRST IN PLAYBOOK: Sergey Kislyak plays host for Russia Day -- the DAWSEY DOWNLOAD -- GOP and DEM talking points on Sessions -- GOP to Trump: Don’t dump Mueller -- B’DAY: Eli Stokols
TRUMP’S lunch companions today -- FIRST IN PLAYBOOK: Sergey Kislyak plays host for Russia Day -- the DAWSEY DOWNLOAD -- GOP and DEM talking points on Sessions -- GOP to Trump: Don’t dump Mueller -- B’DAY: Eli Stokols by [email protected] (Daniel Lippman) via POLITICO - TOP Stories URL: http://ift.tt/2sX4jjg Listen to the Playbook Audio Briefinghttp://bit.ly/2snuwdR ... Subscribe on iTuneshttp://apple.co/2eX6Eay ... Visit the online home of Playbookhttp://politi.co/2f51Jnf Good Tuesday morning. FIRST IN PLAYBOOK: As Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell works to craft an Obamacare replacement bill, PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP is having lunch today with 13 senators to “discuss the status” of the process. TRUMP’S DINING PARTNERS: Sens. Rob Portman (Ohio), John Thune (S.D.), Pat Toomey (Pa.), Mike Lee (Utah), Ted Cruz (Texas), Lamar Alexander (Tenn.), John Barrasso (Wyo.), Cory Gardner (Colo.), Tom Cotton (Ark.), Lisa Murkowski (Alaska), Susan Collins (Maine), Joni Ernst (Iowa) and Orrin Hatch (Utah). -- HEALTH CARE STATUS REPORT: BURGESS EVERETT: “Senate GOP reins in expectations for killing Obamacare: Some Republican lawmakers are growing worried about their tight time frame for overhauling health care”: “Senate Republicans are aggressively trying to rein in expectations for their Obamacare repeal effort, wary of blowing a deadline or falling short of 50 votes on a promise that has driven the GOP’s political strategy for much of the past decade. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is still aiming for an Obamacare repeal vote in June, though his lieutenants acknowledge that deadline could slip into July. And while GOP leaders want to hold the vote as soon as possible, Republicans continue to avoid hard deadlines and say factors outside their control could strike. “‘It’s like having a baby,’ said Senate Majority Whip John Cornyn (R-Texas). ‘It’s not here yet, but it’s coming.’ … A public copy of the bill or the CBO score are not expected until just days before any vote, minimizing the ability of opposition to mobilize, aides said. If a June vote is not possible, Republicans hope to at least to have an agreement on a bill before heading home for the July 4 recess.” http://politi.co/2rlTGcD **SUBSCRIBE to Playbook:http://politi.co/2lQswbh PLAYBOOK EXCLUSIVE -- SERGEY KISLYAK TRYING TO REPAIR FRAYED U.S.-RUSSIA RELATIONS: Embattled Russian diplomat Sergey Kislyak played host to Washington insiders and diplomats at the Russian Embassy Monday night, greeting guests one-by-one in a long receiving line at the embassy in honor of Russia Day. Attendees were encouraged to pose for photos with signs that said “I love Russia” and post them on Facebook, Instagram and other social networks. The frayed U.S.-Russia relationship was clearly on the embassy’s mind as they handed out a pamphlet highlighting the two countries’ close relationship. On the cover: “As an American, I love Russia - friend of Washington and Lincoln.” At the top of the second page, there was this: “As an American, I love Russia because if not for Russia, there may not have been a United States of America.” Russia’s top seven reasons for the close U.S.-Russia ties: “1. During the birth of our Nation, Russia supported the Thirteen Colonies in their way of Independence from Britain. 2. Russia helped preserve the Union during the American Civil War. 3. Alaska, California and Hawaii became States of the Union due to friendly US-Russian relations. 4. Russia was our ally in both World Wars 5. Russian International Peace Initiatives are the foundation of the United Nations. 6. Russian Arts and Sciences have enriched the world, and Russian Americans have made great contributions to American culture. 7. Russian President Putin was the first to call American President Bush to offer help and condolences after the tragedy of 9/11.” SPEAKING OF THOSE CLOSE TIES -- “Russian Breach of 39 States Threatens Future U.S. Elections,” by Bloomberg’s Michael Riley and Jordan Robertson: “Russian hackers hit election systems in at least 39 states before Donald Trump’s election as president, according to a person with direct knowledge of the matter, an attack on almost twice as many states as previously reported. The hacks were part of a wave of intrusions in the summer and fall of 2016, details of which were provided by the person and two others familiar with a U.S. investigation of the attacks. Hackers breached a campaign finance database in at least one unidentified state, they said, and tried to alter or delete data from a voter database in Illinois. “The scope and sophistication of the attacks so concerned the White House that Obama administration officials for the first time used a dedicated communication channel -- the cyber equivalent of the nuclear ‘red phone’ -- to signal to the Kremlin that the attacks risked escalating into a broader conflict, according to two of the people. The U.S. also provided detailed documents it considered proof of an act of aggression, which they said met with a chilly Russian response.” https://bloom.bg/2rVU2p9 -- COMING ATTRACTIONS: “Senate deal to boost Russia sanctions seen as imminent,” by Elana Schor: “Senators are vetting the language of a bipartisan deal to punish Russia that would allow Congress to disapprove of any attempt by President Donald Trump to ease sanctions on Moscow, Foreign Relations Chairman Bob Corker said late Monday. Whether the Tennessee Republican’s optimism translates into a vote this week remains to be seen, however, with Democrats declining to confirm that a deal is done. “If the Senate can pass a strong Russia sanctions package, Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) and Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) could both claim a measure of victory — while also dealing a blow to the White House, which has floated a possible deal to roll back penalties on Vladimir Putin’s government in exchange for further cooperation on anti-terrorism efforts.” http://politi.co/2tgm2li FIRST IN PLAYBOOK: THE DAWSEY DOWNLOAD -- “One of President Trump’s closest friends spent several hours in the White House Monday and emerged to say on TV that the president may fire Robert Mueller, the special prosecutor, and that it would be a ‘significant mistake.’ It was an only-in-Trump’s White House kind of moment. “Senior aides said the friend, Chris Ruddy, was only speculating, and said Trump was unlikely to can the former FBI director. One official said Ruddy didn’t meet with the president -- but instead spent several hours with senior administration aides. ‘I wouldn’t take it too seriously,’ a White House official said. “The reality is that Trump has sounded out associates about his concerns over Mueller -- and no one knows what he might do. Trump would be making a big mistake if he tried to fire Mueller, and they don’t believe he will, aides said. He has been warned against it ‘by almost everyone,’ one adviser said. But he is often governed by self-preservation. He hates losing control of situations. He often lashes out when he feels someone could damage him. Plus, surrogates have begun telling him what trouble Mueller could pose. He met several times with New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie at Bedminster over the weekend. “So, yes, it seems unlikely Trump will try to fire Mueller. But then again, no one expected him to fire James Comey.” -- SPICER STATEMENT, delivered by email from Sean to reporters: “Mr. Ruddy never spoke to the President regarding this issue. With respect to this subject, only the President or his attorneys are authorized to comment.” -- RUDDY DOUBLES DOWN, in email to us: “Spicer issued a bizarre late night press release that a) doesn’t deny my claim the President is considering firing Mueller and b) says I didn’t speak to the President about the matter -- when I never claimed to have done so. Memo to Sean: focus your efforts on exposing the flim-flam Russian allegations against POTUS and highlighting his remarkable achievements! Don’t waste time trying to undermine one of your few allies.” -- THE STRANGE THING: The White House still won’t comment on if, in fact, the president is considering getting rid of Mueller. BUT, BUT, BUT … -- “Republicans to Trump: Hands off Mueller,” by Austin Wright and Kyle Cheney: “Republican lawmakers have a warning for President Donald Trump: Don’t mess with Robert Mueller. Some Trump allies have begun agitating for Trump to fire the man appointed just last month as a special counsel to oversee the Justice Department’s investigation of Russian meddling in the 2016 presidential election. … But that would be a huge mistake, Republican lawmakers said Monday. ‘It would be a disaster,’ said Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) ‘There's no reason to fire Mueller. What’s he done to be fired?’” http://politi.co/2rqdnvd -- COME ON, NEWT! @ReaganBattalion: “Less than a month ago @newtgingrich hailed Mueller as a ‘superb choice’ with an ‘IMPECCABLE’ reputation. Today he says he can’t be trusted.” http://bit.ly/2sWRupg HAPPENING TODAY -- “Sessions to face sharp questions on Russia contacts,” by AP’s Eric Tucker and Deb Riechmann: “Attorney General Jeff Sessions is preparing for sharp questions from his former Senate colleagues about his role in the firing of James Comey, his Russian contacts during the campaign and his decision to recuse from an investigation into possible ties between Moscow and associates of President Donald Trump. The public testimony Tuesday before the Senate intelligence committee should yield Sessions’ most extensive comments to date on questions that have dogged his entire tenure as attorney general and that led him three months ago to step aside from the Russia probe.” http://apne.ws/2rquQ6D -- WHAT NOT TO EXPECT: “Sessions won’t reveal information about conversations with Trump,” by Tara Palmeri and Josh Gerstein: “Jeff Sessions does not plan to reveal information about his private conversations with President Donald Trump during his testimony tomorrow before the Senate Intel Committee, according to sources close to the Attorney General. The sources said the former senator and Trump loyalist is unlikely to talk about any direct conversations with the president. ‘I wouldn’t expect the attorney general to discuss that,’ the source said. It was unclear whether the Attorney General would cite executive privilege as such, or simply say he wants to preserve the confidentiality of his discussions with Trump.” http://politi.co/2svFrly … The Sessions hearing is today at 2:30 p.m. in Hart 216. THE TALKING POINTS … -- Johanna Persing, RNC director of media affairs, emailed GOP communicators late Monday with a series of talking points for surrogates ahead of Sessions’ hearing. GOP talking points include: Trump has done nothing wrong; Sessions “continues to be open, honest and transparent;” Sessions’ meeting with Russian officials is standard practice; and asks surrogates to push for more answers on former Attorney General Loretta Lynch and fired FBI director James Comey’s interactions. The emailhttp://politi.co/2rqfSh6 -- Constance Boozer, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer’s director of surrogate and media affairs, emailed “friends and allies” Monday afternoon with their own set of talking points ahead of the Sessions hearing. Topline message: Sessions needs to answer several questions and to step down. “The fact that he isn’t willing to appear before the Committee with jurisdiction over the Department of Justice, the Judiciary Committee, shows that ‘the cloud’ of the Russia investigation makes it impossible for him to do the job of Attorney General,” Boozer wrote. The emailhttp://politi.co/2rqbVci WHAT TRUMP WANTS TO BE TALKING ABOUT -- “Trump’s White House wants to change the subject: Trump, smarting over coverage of Russia probes, thinks his administration doesn’t get enough credit,” by Matt Nussbaum and Josh Dawsey: “The White House has been spending more time trying to focus staff on weekly agenda items, two administration officials said. Senior officials have tried to cheer up younger aides by reminding them that ‘voters aren’t going to make their choices based on some hard-to-understand, he-said, she-said accusation,’ one said, adding that the White House believes voters will stand by them if the economy remains strong. ... Trump also inaccurately declared on Monday that he’d ‘passed more legislation’ than any predecessor besides Franklin D. Roosevelt. Harry Truman passed 55 bills in his first 100 days, while Trump had signed 48 by his 142nd day. Many of those have been to designate buildings or other less noticeable actions.” With a Josh Holmes cameohttp://politi.co/2rqik75 DEMOCRATS’ SILVER LINING -- “Trump hearings hatch Democratic stars,” by Gabe Debenedetti: “California Sen. Kamala Harris had the latest star turn last week, with her tough interrogation of Director of National Intelligence Dan Coats and National Security Agency Director Adm. Mike Rogers and questioning of former FBI Director James Comey. Before that, it was Minnesota Sen. Al Franken, whose revealing cross-examination of Attorney General Jeff Sessions sparked a boomlet of fresh presidential speculation earlier this year. Virginia Sen. Mark Warner has seen his work on the Senate Intelligence Committee suddenly revive talk of his national prospects, which had faded after he laid the groundwork roughly a decade ago. ... “The beneficiaries of the surge in attention aren’t limited to members of the key committees on the Trump beat — the Intelligence and Judiciary panels. First-term Connecticut Sen. Chris Murphy, for example, has been especially active in speaking out about the Russia probes and on immigration, leading to reports that the White House is now eying him as a potential 2020 opponent. Yet it’s the former prosecutors Harris, Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar, and California Rep. Adam Schiff who have been front-and-center in harnessing the party’s fury, largely because they’ve been the ones in the televised spotlight.” http://politi.co/2siKKny DEPT. OF YA CAN’T MAKE IT UP -- “Former NBA player Dennis Rodman arrives in North Korea,” by AP’s Eric Talmadge in Pyongyang: “Dennis Rodman, the former NBA bad boy who has palled around with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, flew back to Pyongyang on Tuesday for the first time in Donald Trump’s presidency. He said he is ‘just trying to open a door’ on a mission that he thinks his former ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ boss would support. Rodman, one of the few people to know both of the nuclear-armed leaders, sported a black T-shirt advertising a marijuana cybercurrency as he talked to reporters briefly before his flight from Beijing to the North Korean capital. Asked if he had spoken to Trump about his trip, he said, ‘Well, I’m pretty sure he’s pretty much happy with the fact that I’m over here trying to accomplish something that we both need. ... “‘We are aware of his visit. We wish him well, but we have issued travel warnings to Americans and suggested they not travel to North Korea for their own safety,’ U.S. Undersecretary of State Thomas Shannon told reporters after discussing the North Korean missile threat and other issues with Japanese counterparts.” http://apne.ws/2tguZuP THE CABINET MEETING HEARD AROUND THE WORLD … -- NYT’S JULIE HIRSCHFELD DAVIS: “Mr. Trump transformed a routine meeting of senior members of his government into a mood-boosting, ego-stroking display of support for himself and his agenda. While the president never explicitly asked to be praised, Mr. Pence set the worshipful tone, and Mr. Trump made it clear he liked what he heard. ‘Thank you, Mick,’ he told Mick Mulvaney, his budget director. ‘Good job,’ he told Scott Pruitt, his E.P.A. chief. ‘Very good, Daniel,’ he said to Dan Coats, the director of national intelligence. ... In a video posted with the tweet, Senator Chuck Schumer, Democrat of New York and the minority leader, sat at a table with young staff members who, at his prompting, praised his performance on Sunday talk shows and the appearance of his hair. One repeated Mr. Priebus’s quotation word for word, prompting the senator and his aides to erupt into laughter.” http://nyti.ms/2tgdudT -- @SenSchumer: “GREAT meeting today with the best staff in the history of the world!!!” http://bit.ly/2swimPy HOW IT’S PLAYING -- Reuters: “At Trump’s Cabinet meeting, flattery is flavor of the day” http://reut.rs/2tfZHnK ... AP: “Who loves him more? Trump’s cabinet members gush at meeting”http://apne.ws/2rlNeCF ... WaPo: “Praise for the chief: Trump’s Cabinet tells him it’s an ‘honor’ and ‘blessing’ to serve” http://wapo.st/2rlwBXO ... Full videohttp://nbcnews.to/2rdiYWa -- @ChrisLu44 (whose birthday was yesterday): “I ran 16 Cabinet meetings during Obama’s 1st term. Our Cabinet was never told to sing Obama’s praises. He wanted candid advice not adulation WELCOME TO WASHINGTON -- “Melania Trump Leaves New York Behind for the White House,” by NYT’s Maggie Haberman: “Melania Trump will attend a congressional picnic in the final days of June. She will start filling out her roster of aides. She will get her son settled into his new home and, then, in the fall, a new school. And she will turn attention to the range of issues that a first lady has the ability to affect. “For the first time since President Trump was inaugurated, his wife is living full time in the White House. She and the couple’s 11-year-old son, Barron, left Trump Tower in Manhattan behind over the weekend, a transition that the first lady announced on her husband’s favorite medium, Twitter, after it was completed. … “Mrs. Trump’s immediate focus is likely to be inside the White House, where her husband has become increasingly isolated from his party and even his own staff since his abrupt firing of James B. Comey, the director of the F.B.I. ‘She is the president’s never-ending barometer of reality, and she delivers candor and honesty blended with selfless love for him and his family in equal doses,’ said Thomas J. Barrack Jr., a close friend of the Trumps who has known the first lady since 1998.” http://nyti.ms/2swbS2V -- WAPO’S KRISSAH THOMPSON: “Five questions about Melania Trump’s move to the White House”: “Will Melania Trump keep her husband from sending controversial wee-hours tweets? … Will she build an advocacy program, such as Michelle Obama’s ‘Let’s Move’ or Laura Bush’s National Book Festival, or undertake any restoration projects in the White House? … How will Barron Trump’s presence change life in the White House? … Will Melania Trump engage with D.C.’s social scene? … How will Melania Trump leave her mark on the job?” http://wapo.st/2rVvblm -- “Barron Trump’s ‘The Expert’ T-shirt sells out at J. Crew,” by The Washington Examiner’s Leah DePiero: “The T-shirt Barron Trump wore while exiting Marine One with his parents on Sunday as he and first lady Melania Trump officially moved into the White House has sold out on J. Crew as of Monday. The gray cotton ringer T-shirt with the words ‘The Expert’ in blue lettering gained attention after 11-year-old Barron paired it with dark jeans and sneakers on Sunday. ‘We’re sorry. This item has been so popular, it has sold out,’ J. Crew’s website said of the $29.50 shirt.” http://washex.am/2sndsEH IT’S ALL HAPPENING -- “Former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski shopping book – again,” by CNN’s Oliver Darcy: “Publishers were told to submit offers to Lewandowski's agent, Mel Berger of WME Entertainment, by a Friday deadline ... Berger was expecting to ultimately fetch seven figures for the book deal. It was not clear what Lewandowski’s book would be about. A proposal wasn’t submitted, likely to avoid details leaking to the public, the source added. Lewandowski previously had an offer from HarperCollins worth $1.2 million, but lost it over concerns about a nondisclosure agreement he signed during the campaign, Politico reported last June. This time around, however, publishers were told Lewandowski had been able to obtain a waiver of the nondisclosure agreement, one of the sources familiar with the matter said.” http://cnnmon.ie/2rd6Ft5 TRUMP’S TUESDAY -- He’s meeting with H.R. McMaster, lunching with members of the Senate and then will go to Milwaukee. In Milwaukee he will meet with “Obamacare victims,” speak about health care and tour Waukesha County Technical College. He will then hold a roundtable on “workforce development.” He’ll also speak at a fundraiser for Gov. Scott Walker before returning to D.C. VIRGINIANS HEAD TO THE POLLS TODAY -- WAPO: “Just tuning in to Virginia governor’s race? We’ll help you do your homework”http://wapo.st/2swFRYR THE JUICE … [email protected]: “In other non-Mueller news, Ivanka Trump, who excoriated the ‘viciousness’ of Washington on Fox, made a visit with Conde Nast brass at 1WTC” -- SPOTTED: FORMER ATTORNEY GENERAL ERIC HOLDER yesterday on the new Delta LAX to DCA flight in Delta One (first class), watching “Eight Days a Week,” the Ron Howard documentary about The Beatles. -- PEACOCK UPDATE: The MSNBC shows “Hardball,” “Andrea Mitchell Reports” and “MSNBC Live” with Hallie Jackson have all moved to the NBC studios at 400 North Capitol. Yesterday was the first day in the new studios. They join Greta van Susteren’s “For the Record,” which has aired from the Capitol Hill location since its inception. -- THE NRCC disclosed another $833,526 in media spending against Jon Ossoff in Georgia’s sixth congressional district. WARRIORS WIN NBA TITLE -- L.A. TIMES TANIA GANGULI: “‘I remember plenty of times throughout my career I continued to just look in the past and look ahead and not stay in the moment,’ [MVP Kevin] Durant said. ‘In this series I just stayed in the moment. And we did it together. ... You call us a super team, but it’s been a lot of super teams that [haven’t] worked, and we came together and we continued to just believe in each other and we sacrificed and we’re champions now.’” http://lat.ms/2rdsl8so NEW BUZZFEED INVESTIGATION (with six bylines) -- “POISON IN THE SYSTEM”: “The British government is suppressing explosive intelligence that Alexander Perepilichnyy, a financier who exposed a vast financial crime by Russian government officials, was likely assassinated on the direct orders of Vladimir Putin. Perepilichnyy, who faced repeated threats after fleeing to Britain, was found dead outside his home in Surrey after returning from a mysterious trip to Paris in 2012. Despite an expert detecting signs of a fatal plant poison in his stomach, the British police have insisted there was no evidence of foul play, and Theresa May’s government has invoked national security powers to withhold evidence from the inquest into his cause of death – which is ongoing. But an investigation by BuzzFeed News has now obtained fresh evidence that the authorities have deliberately sidelined, and has uncovered how Perepilichnyy spent his last days in Paris.” http://bzfd.it/2tfTF6z MORE MCAULIFFE ON ISAAC DOVERE’S ‘OFF MESSAGE’ -- THROWING SHADE AT HILLARY -- “We, as a party, need to understand what happened,” the Virginia governor told Isaac Dovere in the new Off Message podcast, live today. “My advice would be to Hillary, ‘There’s enough people that will do that and get that information out.’” McAuliffe says she never asked him to join her PAC. He told Isaac he didn’t even know what it was called. Here’s the exchange: “What is the name of it?” “Onward Together.” “Terrific.” “Like ‘Stronger Together.’” “Got it,” he says. “Very clever.” http://politi.co/2rlFyQF ... Listen and Subscribehttp://apple.co/2nEa7y0 WHAT WALL STREET IS READING -- “Goldman’s Blankfein, Citi’s Corbat Duped by Email Prankster,” by WSJ’s Liz Hoffman and Telis Demos: “The chief executives of Goldman Sachs Group Inc. and Citigroup Inc. are the latest bank bosses to be hooked by an email prankster trolling top Wall Street brass, exposing a low-tech gap in banks’ cybersecurity armor. Goldman’s Lloyd Blankfein and Citigroup’s Michael Corbat, as well as Citigroup consumer-banking chief Stephen Bird, responded over the weekend to emails sent by the anonymous prankster masquerading as top executives at the two banks. The hoaxer ... on Sunday published screenshots of the exchanges on Twitter. ... None of the executives disclosed sensitive information in responding to the prankster, but the repeated episodes flag concerns about whether banks have done enough to guard against online threats.” http://on.wsj.com/2swiMW8 MEDIAWATCH -- “Facebook Building Feature to Let Users Subscribe to News Publications,” by WSJ’s Deepa Seetharaman and Lukas Alpert: “Facebook Inc. may soon help its users do something unfamiliar on the platform: pay for news. The social-media giant is building a feature that would allow users to subscribe to publishers directly from the mobile app, according to people familiar with the matter. The feature, long-requested by publishers, is expected to roll out by the end of 2017 ... Facebook [is] leaning toward a metered-payment model, which would allow users to read some articles for free each month before prompting them to pay, three of the people familiar with the matter said.” http://on.wsj.com/2snc4Sy -- L.A. Times national correspondent Nigel Duara is leaving for a role as a correspondent on HBO's “Vice News Tonight.” Duara, also an AP alum, will serve as a national correspondent, beginning June 19. SPOTTED: HHS Secretary Tom Price drinking a beer at the Nationals game last night cheering on the Braves with some other HHSers. … Dr. Ben Carson yesterday on a Delta Shuttle from DCA to LGA, seated in Delta Comfort+ seat 7D ... Ivanka at LaGuardia yesterday near the gate for the DCA shuttle (with lots of Secret Service with her) ... Sen. Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.) talking on his cell-phone yesterday afternoon in the Watergate Hotel library ... Ron Brownstein yesterday catching a foul ball at Nationals Park -- Doug Heye’s Instapichttp://bit.ly/2snwVVJ ... Rep. Ami Bera (D-Calif.) sitting at the head of a packed table off the lobby of 20 F Street, NW. … … Ashton Kutcher and Sen. Bob Corker (R-Tenn.) sharing a stage at the 2017 Rotary Convention in Atlanta to discuss the issue of modern day slavery and the current efforts in curbing human sex trafficking around the world. Picshttp://bit.ly/2snyH9y ... http://bit.ly/2siO6H8 ... Laurel Strategies CEO Alan Fleischmann having breakfast yesterday morning at the Four Seasons with Stedman Graham. OUT AND ABOUT -- Ed Cash held his semiannual Bipartisan Homeland Security reception last night at Clyde’s in Chinatown. The event brings together the homeland security teams from the Bush, Obama and now Trump Administrations. More than 350 guests attended the event and heard remarks from Secretary John Kelly, former Secretary Michael Chertoff and former Deputy Secretary Ali Mayorkas. Pic of Secretary Kelly addressing attendeeshttp://bit.ly/2tgIgDo SPOTTED: Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wis.), deputy Secretary of Homeland Security Elaine Duke, DHS chief of staff Kirstjen Nielsen, White House OMB associate director Kathy Kraninger, Admiral Thad Allen, Chad Sweet, DHS assistant secretary for public affairs Jonathan Hoffman, FEMA deputy administrator Dave Grant, White House Military Office director Dab Kern, DC Homeland Security chief Brian Baker, Rich Serino, Christian Marrone, Will Booher, and many more. SPOTTED at Dave Weigel’s book party last night at Black Cat to celebrate “The Show That Never Ends: The Rise and Fall of Prog Rock” -- $18.32 on Amazon:http://amzn.to/2s5zetB: Julia Ioffe, Asawin Suebsaeng, Elizabeth Nolan Brown, Wesley Lowery, Olivia Nuzzi, John Hudson, Taylor Lorenz, Ezra Klein, Annie Lowery, Rosie Gray, Carolyn Fiddler, Bob Draper, Paul Kane, Josh Green, Kevin Robillard, Byron Tau, Rebecca Leber, Stephanie Slade, Jesse Walker, Matt Gertz, Peter Suderman, Meghan McArdle, Jim Newell, Tierney Sneed, Brian Beutler, Benjy Sarlin, Hadas Gold, Brendan Karet, Eric Boehm, Igor Bobic, Alyssa Rosenberg, John Tabin, Alex Parker, Eric Michael Garcia, Betsy Woodruff, Pema Levy, Travis Waldron. ENGAGED --Patrick Crowley (of Dayblink Consulting, soon to be getting his MBA at UNC) popped the question on Saturday to AEI senior media associate Meg Cahill. “She gladly said yes to her longtime Notre Dame college sweetheart and AEI’s communications team looks forward to celebrating the happy couple when they return on our Dupont Circle rooftop!” After getting engaged, the couple then went on an already planned vacation to Puerto Rico. Pichttp://politi.co/2swlb35 TRANSITIONS -- Former Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack is joining the board of directors of Feeding America, which is the nation’s largest hunger relief organization with 200 food banks serving every state. http://politi.co/2rm0K9j … Ashley Pratte has been hired to be the director of public affairs at The Herald Group; she most recently has been director of media relations and public affairs at the American Legislative Exchange Council. ... Constance Boozer, formerly of HFA (Brooklyn), is now Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer’s director of surrogates and media affairs. She got promoted from within the office, where she’s been working since November. ... ... Marcel Lettre has joined Lockheed Martin as VP for national security. He previously was under secretary of defense for intelligence and has also worked on the Hill. ... Emily Hecht-McGowan is joining the Biden Foundation’s team as policy director for equality. She previously was Family Equality Council’s chief policy officer. http://politi.co/2rcVZuF ... Ed Murphy, a former researcher for Illinois Gov. Bruce Rauner and the RNC, has joined Prospect Strategic Communications as the opposition-research firm’s newest partner. Ed will be based in Chicago, while the firm’s other two partners, Kris Anderson and Webber Steinhoff, are based in LA and D.C. BIRTHWEEK (was yesterday): Chris Lu, former deputy secretary of Labor and longtime Obamaworld person who is now at FiscalNote and the Miller Center, turned 51. He celebrated by “cheering on the Nats and toasting birthday-mate George H.W. Bush, whose decency and integrity is sorely missed in the White House right now,” per our anonymous birthday tipster ... Michael Pollack, former clerk for Justice Sotomayor and future Cardozo Law professor (hat tip: David Helfenbein) ... (was Saturday): Ayesha Rascoe, White House reporter at Reuters (h/t Roberta Rampton) BIRTHDAY OF THE DAY: WSJ White House reporter Eli Stokols, Politico alum, the pride of Irvine, California and erstwhile Mile High resident. How he’s celebrating: “Just going out to dinner with my girlfriend, Elena Schneider. I’ve been told we’re going to Rose’s.” Read his Playbook Plus Q&A:http://politi.co/2sX56AP BIRTHDAYS: L.A. Times political writer Seema Mehta ... former U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon is 73 ... Mike Norton, Arkansan, Truman/Marshall Scholar and former Hill intern ... Katie Biber Chen, Romney GC and Bush 43 alum now general counsel at Thumbtack in SF (h/t Sarah Isgur Flores) … Jimmy Orr ... John Del Cecato, partner at AKPD Message and Media ... Cathy McLaughlin (h/ts Teresa Vilmain) ... Marissa Shorenstein, SVP of the east region at AT&T, one of the youngest senior executives in the company’s history (h/t Keri Kohler) ... Rep. Jerry Nadler (D-N.Y.) is 7-0 (h/t James Owens) ... Politico’s Margaret McGill ... William Lewallen ... Rep. Eleanor Holmes Norton (D-DC) is 8-0 ... Leslie Hagar Small ... Neil Bernstein ... Bill Mergner, director at AQN Strategies ... Philip Rosenthal ... NBC alum Morgan Pitt, now an events coordinator at Grand Ole Opry House in Nashville ... … Nicole Gelinas, senior fellow at the Manhattan Institute and a contributing editor to City Journal ... Ryan Rhodes ... WSJ alum Andrew Grossman, now a student at Wharton ... Jenny Eisen Verdery, yoga instructor and former lobbyist at Intel, celebrating 5-0 at Machu Picchu in Peru (h/t Stewart) ... Charlie Nichols is 15 ... Michelle Lee of WaPo’s Fact-Checker blog ... NBC4’s Eun Yang ... R. Brian Lewis, a good man from Nebraska ... Jim Fellinger, press secretary at Concerned Veterans for America (h/t Rebecca Coffman) ... Kirtan Mehta ... Lauren Mehta ... Sagar Vachhani … Alex Marino of Civis Analytics ... Andrew Lavigne ... Judge Neil Cohen … Sarah Hurwitz ... Margaret Shepard, managing director of 1776, celebrating in France (h/t Peter Cherukuri) ... Genger Charles ... Patrick G. Cronin ... Michelle Korsmo ... Patrick McGill is 31 ... Bill Buck is 5-0 ... John Eddy, partner at SourceRock Partners ... Jeff Siegel is 4-0 ... Junheng Li ... Rick Weidman is 71 ... Tony Varona ... Neil Bernstein is 51 ... WTOP’s Brian Oliger ... artist Christo is 82 ... Siegfried (Siegfried & Roy) is 78 ... Hannah Storm is 55 ... Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are 31 (h/ts AP)
I seriously hope I did enough of these questions for you all. I really enjoy getting to know the Blues fans around me! Thanks to andreag881 for letting me in on the fun! Favorite current Blue: Reaves. I used to work at the Best Buy in Brentwood. Athletes would often come in, so I met a decent amount of the roster over those years. Reaves was the nicest of them all. If we’re sticking with on-ice, Schwartz. The dude never quits and I’ve heard he’s an excellent chirper. Favorite past/retired Blue: Gotta go with Hull. He was my first “hero” when I was a kid. The first game I went to was during the 90-91 season. He threw a puck to me during warm-ups. In October of 2013 he was doing a signing at the PNC bank in Wildwood, very close to where I live. I told him he had given that puck to me 23 years earlier as he was signing it. He laughed and said “I don’t wanna hear that. I know how old I am!” The current/former Blues player I would most like to have a drink with is: Jackman. Because I’d love to hear some stories of his over the years since he’s been here the longest. RIP If I had a daughter, I would let her go on a date with: honestly, I think I’d let her date any of them. I’m sure that’s surprising to most, but I really don’t think there are any bad people on the current team. Some aren’t as good as others, but ultimately I’d like to think they’re all respectful dudes. For benefit of the question though, if I had to pick one I’d go with Reaves. (yes I know he’s married) If I had a daughter, no way I would let her go on a date with: Schwartz. Just something weird about your daughter dating a guy who has less hair than you. I cried a little inside when we traded: not traded, but when Hull left I was 12 and my “eyes watered” for awhile. Best Blues-related memory: There are a couple. Being at Game 1 last year vs. the Hawks was awesome, Game 2 vs. LA the year prior. My overall favorite is going to be the first time I took my wife (gf at the time) to a game. It was against the Stars during the 2010 season. It was a loss, but she was just so into it. She got to see DJ King fight and was really stoked about that. I think it was also Petro’s first NHL goal. If I ran the world, the music after a goal is scored would be: honestly, I wouldn’t change it. “Saints” has to stay! It’s part of the team. If I ran the world, our power play song would be: Alright, that song can go. Anything that isn’t the power play song/dance. Throw some butt rock in there and I’ll like it more than the current “song.” My hockey nickname would be: Mass? My name is Massey so my guess is guys would shorten it. Favorite NON-Blue: Ilya Kovalchuk. Was really bummed when he left the NHL. I just love watching him play. Least favorite non-Blue: Anyone earning a paycheck from the Chicago Blackhawks. How did you become a Blues fan? My mom was a fan when I was little. I remember being allowed to stay up late to watch games, but would fall asleep anyway. My all time Blues line is (one current/past blue for each position AND a coach) LW Tkachuk C Federko RW Hull LD Pronger RD Bob Plager G Glenn Hall Coach: Quenneville I’m not gay, but I could be turned by: Jensen Ackles. Supernatural fans? Oh…we’re still on Blues players…honestly when Tarasenko scores it gets me halfway there. Favorite place to watch the game: Scottrade, of course. If not there, I’m working on a bar in my basement at home. I’m hoping by midway through next season I can say I’m watching it there. Favorite mod and why is it Foot? Because I feel like if I answer otherwise I will be exiled. NON-BLUES RELATED QUESTIONS Where do you live and what’s your favorite thing about your city? I live in Wildwood, have lived in the St. Louis area since getting married in 2011. I grew up in rural Illinois, about an hour from downtown so that may still technically be “the area.” I love this city. It has its bad points like any larger city, but the vast majority of people are nice, caring people. The city is small but thinks its big, which is why I think I enjoy it so much. It has the offerings of a larger city but without the population. Where did you go to high school/college? I went to high school in Staunton, IL. My graduating class was under 100 students, the whole high school was smaller than most of classes here in the city. I went to “college” at Ranken for computer networking. One band you could listen to for the rest of your life and never get sick of? I enjoy all kinds of music(mainly metal) but I think the only album I could listen to forever and not get sick of is Infinity Overheard by Minus the Bear. I only listen to it when I’m relaxing/smoking/having a drink so I always think of that when it comes on. Favorite song? I’m going to stick with the Minus the Bear theme. Diamond Lightning. Favorite book? This is a tie. Either Fight Club, or The Zombie Survival Guide. I don’t read a lot of books anymore. . . Favorite App (besides the Blues app)? Hangouts. I keep in touch with all my friends from Illinois and around the city with it. We have various open chats/IMs. I like it better than texting because it’s instant, and it animates gif images that are sent. Android or iPhone? Android. My favorite cartoon as a kid was: Ninja Turtles! Favorite/least favorite food: I’m a Ron Swanson type of guy when it comes to food. Give me a good steak and a glass of bourbon any day. As for least favorite, peas can go straight to hell. The coolest vacation I ever went on was: A couple years ago my wife and I rented a house on Dauphin Island which is off the coast of Alabama. We were 100 yards from the beach. It was excellent. What is your dream car? Attainable, a 1967 Chevy Impala. Unattainable, that behemoth Mercedes 6x6. What is your favorite beverage (can be alcoholic or non): I’m getting into bourbons and scotches so I’m trying new ones anytime I can. Non-alcoholic: Nothing beats a cold Coke for me. IF you could go back in time and give one piece of advice to your high school self, what would it be? For the love of God, don’t buy that Grand Am just because it’s cheap. What’s your guilty pleasure TV show? Supernatural. Love me some Winchester ass kickin’. What were you doing 10 years ago? I was 19, going to class at Lewis & Clark (before I dropped out) going to concerts with my then girlfriend, and buying ridiculous stuff because I had very few bills and lived with my parents still. I was also wrestling "professionally" with RCW which is now defunct I believe. What is the strangest food you’ve ever eaten? Did you like it? I tried octopus last summer in Alaska. It tasted like fried mushrooms to me. Was pretty good. What are you afraid of? Not seeing the Blues win the Cup in my lifetime. That’s honest. I stress over things I shouldn’t, and don’t stress over things I should. What was the first concert you went to see? My first concert was Kansas. My mom took me because she didn’t have a babysitter. I was like 9 I think. What is your dream job? Something in the cigar industry, whether it be sales, marketing, or even blending some day. What is your favorite amusement park ride? I love rollercoasters. When the Batman was first built at Six Flags I rode it like 5 times straight. And back then the lines were easily 60 minutes long each time. What superpower would you have and why? Gonna go with the typical answer, flying. Commuting no longer a big problem, it’s recreational, and if you need to go let off some steam you can just fly away and start cussing at birds. If you could be the opposite sex for one day, would you? Yeah, definitely. At the very least I’d be famous for the guy that became a girl for a day. If you could take a one month trip anywhere in the world and money was no issue, where would you go and what would you do? Scandinavian countries. I’d visit Sweden, Finland, Norway. I’d catch some hockey games, check out the food, and the music scene. Metal is my favorite genre and I love European metal, especially melodic death metal that comes out of that area. Favorite subreddit other than /stlouisblues:/stlouis, /hockey, /cigars, /askreddit, and /wtf. What is your favorite bar? Stanley’s Lounge on Washington!
Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in hospital. A man walks into a pub. He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family. Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem. What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat. Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas. How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One. How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it is far more efficient in both time and money to change it yourself. Failing that, ask a relative or neighbour to change it for you. Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed. Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.' Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off. Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest. What do you get when you cross a chicken with a centipede? A media circus about the debate over the morals and ethics of genetic engineering. So, there were an Irishman, an Englishman and an American wrecked on an island. One day, they found a bottle, and when they opened it, a ghost came out and offered them each a wish. However, even though they wished for different stuff, nothing happened, as the three guys of varying nationalities were just having shared hallucinations from hunger. How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head underwater until she can no longer breathe and stops struggling. Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Repeated absences and stealing. A black man is going to get a vasectomy. He shows up to the doctor's office wearing a suit. The doctor says, "Why are you wearing a suit?" The black man says, "I just got back from a funeral" What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? "Would you like an ice pack?" Why did the deaf man take his parrot to work? He was weird. A Blonde and a Brunette jump off a tall building at the same time. Who hits the ground first? Both of them hit the ground at the same time. Hair colour doesn't affect acceleration due to gravity. What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. A man walks into a whorehouse and pays a prostitute for sex. He contracts an STD and passes it onto his pregnant wife. Their child is born deformed and has a difficult life. When asked if he could see the humour in the situation, the child replied, "No. No, I don't." A man called a lawyer and asked, "How much will you charge me to answer three questions?" The lawyer said "$400." "Wow," said the man. "Isn't that a lot?" "I guess so," said the lawyer. "When are you going to ask your questions?" How do you know when a Frenchman has been near your house? You don't, really, unless you were there to see him or if one of your neighbours saw him. I wouldn't worry about it, really. Three men are at the FBI Building for a job interview. The interviewing FBI agent tells the first man, 'To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.' The man takes the gun, hesitates, and says, 'Sorry, I can't do it.' The next interviewee enters the office and the agent tells him the same thing he told the first guy. The second man takes the gun, walks into the room, and walks out. 'Sorry, I can't.' he says. The last man enters the office and the interviewer said yet again explains the test.' The man says "I'm sorry I love my wife too much to do such a harmful thing, I guess the FBI is not for me after all." What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends. Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture removers van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular. Satan takes the form of Jesus and appears to three priests saying that if they do something evil, he'll let them drink of the holy water. The three priests discuss the offer and come to the conclusion that Satan must be tricking them into committing sin. When confronted with this accusation, Satan reveals his dastardly plot and salutes the priests on their cunning and steadfast faith. Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. Otto and Beata give birth to a young child. This is impossible, because a baby cannot be born as a young child, therefore the previous sentence is rendered void and should be corrected. I apologise on behalf of myself, and myself only, for this major yet forgivable mistake. The Pope walks into a bar. The bartender says, what'll ya have, Pope? But the Pope's grasp of English is tenuous at best, so he mumbles something in Latin. The bartender doesn't know any Latin. The Pope gets frustrated and leaves. Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, it's really nice. Where did Hitler keep his armies? The brunt of his forces were applied to the Eastern front, but throughout different periods of the war, a sizable chunk were used to protect the Atlantic Wall and a handful of divisions were used in Africa, to secure shipping routes. A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me". What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person adhering to the Jewish faith and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, usually circular bread covered with tomato sauce and cheese with optional garnishes. What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down? An embarrassing situation Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She was a schizophrenic. How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her. What's the deal with airline peanuts? The packaging is generally poorly designed and cheaply made, as a method of cutting distribution costs. After all, most passengers wouldn't want a "Peanut Fee" attached to their already costly ticket prices in order to cover the expenses of higher quality wrappers. What are you complaining about, anyway? It's free food, and it's a nice snack. If you're really that bent on not enjoying the peanuts the airline so graciously provided you with, just save them and give them to the next homeless person you see. People these days are really selfish. How do you make a Swiss roll? Generally it involves a thin layer of sponge cake and a layer of either jam or cream. The resulting flat sheet of cake and cream is then rolled into a cylinder. It's quite delicious, actually. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag. One is a famous singer songwriter facing charges of child molestation and the other's a thin plastic sheet formed into a shape most fitting to carrying large amounts of shopping so that its easier to carry. How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I imagine it would take a great many. Mice would find it difficult to reach a ceiling light fitting, and would individually lack the strength or dexterity required to turn a bulb in such a socket. Even if you had enough mice to lend their strength to such an endeavor, the chances of them having the intelligence and wherewithal to perform such a complex activity is really quite low. A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder. A man walks past a bar and sees a sign which says "PERFORM THE THREE FEATS AND WIN A MILLION DOLLARS!" Thinking that a million dollars sounds like a great idea, he goes inside and asks the bartender what the deal is. "First," says the bartender, "you have to chug this entire bottle of vodka. Second, there's a crocodile in the back room with a bad tooth. You have to pull it. Third, there's an eighty-five year old woman in the back who's never had sex. You have to have sex with her." The guy think it over and says "okay, sure. You have a deal!" He grabs the bottle of vodka and, with little effort due to the fact that he's basically a professional alcoholic anyway, downs it. Then he slams the empty bottle down and goes into the back room. There's a lot of screaming, some growling, and various crashing sounds. Finally a silence falls upon the bar. Minutes pass, then an hour. Finally the bartender sends a barmaid back to see what's going on. A few minutes later, she comes back out. "What's he doing?" asks the bartender. "What's left of him is back there in the croc pen," she says, her horrified face pale with shock. "His clothes are tossed in the corner. I think he tried to fuck the croc. The croc...the croc ate him." "Oh, Jesus," whispers the bartender. "Jesus." Nobody says a word. A man has been trapped on a desert island for 8 years. One day, he sees a boat on the horizon and lights a fire to let it know he is there. The boat comes towards the shore. On board there is a beautiful woman in a body hugging wetsuit. "Thank God", he says, "I've been trapped on this island for eight years. Thank god someone has come at last." "Eight years?" she says, "So it's eight years since you last smoked a Cuban cigar?" She unzips a pocket on her wetsuit and pulls out a cigar. She passes it to him, pulls out a Zippo, and lights it for him. He enjoys the first cigar he has had in eight years. "So is it also eight years since you had a drink?" She unzips a pocket on her wetsuit and pulls out a hip flask, tossing it to him. He takes a swig, and it's 25 year old single malt whisky. It's smooth and mellow and utterly delicious. "So," she says, beginning to unzip the long zipper on the front of her costume, "Is it eight years since you played around?" "Oh no," he says, "This is all a dream, isn't it? A beautiful woman with whiskey and cigars wanting to have sex with me? I must be dreaming." Suddenly he is woken up by a flash of lightning. It's the middle of the night, and he is all alone in his primitive shelter on his desert island. So alone... so terribly alone. An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the spool of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, did not recognize the sender's name, and rightly deduced that she was not the intended recipient. She replied, pointing out the man's mistake, who then resent the e-mail to the proper address. What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl. What do you call 5 Mexicans in quicksand? A dangerous situation that could soon turn tragic. Four blondes are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and have a wonderful time at what many people believe to be the most magical place on Earth. A Mexican, a Texan, a Brit, and a Frenchman are flying on a plane when one of the engines goes out. The pilot comes out and says "we're too heavy, one of you will have to jump!" The Mexican looks at the Texan, the Brit looks at the Frenchmen, but they all decide that they don't want to jump out of the plane. The pilot attempts an emergency landing but without a runway and only 3 engines the plane hits at too harsh an angle and explodes. How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? Do something really nice for her, like buy her the piece of jewelry she looks at every time you go into the mall, or bake her a cake. If you have the time and effort, make her something. People appreciate thought and effort in a present more than money. Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in. There once was a man from Nantucket. He owned a sailboat. I haven't seen him in years. As their plane spirals towards the ground, a young man asks the pretty girl next to him if she would have sex with him, as he does not want to die a virgin. Surprised by this request, she declines, stating that in addition to the sheer inappropriateness of the idea, the mechanics of copulating in a crashing aircraft seem very difficult if not impossible. He agrees and admits that he was only trying to lighten the mood. However, she was busy putting on her oxygen mask and didn't hear this last bit. They both spend the last moments of their lives in anxious reflection. A man walks into a bar. He orders a couple of drinks, pays for them, and then proceeds to leave the premises, as his wife had told him that he must not be too late home. A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined. What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.) PATIENT: Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! DOCTOR: I shall prescribe you some anti-depressant tablets, probably 20 miligrams to start with, and I shall book you an appointment with a psychiatrist. You will not be charged for his or her services, but you may have to wait up to seven weeks for your first meeting. I shall give you two prescriptions just in case, so that you don't run the risk of running out of medication and thus relapsing. You will have to return in two months as your counseller is unable to provide you with drugs. Have a nice day. PATIENT: Thank you, doctor. My mother will be pleased and relieved that I have finally sought your advice after many years of this inner personal anguish and turmoil. DOCTOR: You're very welcome. Could you please send my next patient in? He should have a large beard, unless he recently has shaved it, which I consider unlikely. PATIENT: Certainly, doctor. And thank you again. What's the difference between Smarties and sleeping pills? Smarties are a popular chocolate-based confectionary product from England, which were the inspiration for the arguably more successful M&M's produced by Mars. Sleeping pills are flavourless narcotics that are used primarily by people suffering from afflictions such as insomnia. Another difference between the two is the repurcussions of ingestion. In a large dose, Smarties can have a minor contribution to obesity, whereas a large dose - often referred to as an 'overdose' - of sleeping pills runs the risk of much more dangerous consequences such as immediate and fatal liver damage. It is generally accepted that sleeping pills should only be used when recommended or prescribed by a qualified doctor or chemist, but Smarties can be purchased at the majority of reputable supermarkets or corner shops. Why did the Czech tourist cross the road? Because he was impressed by the frankly excellent crossing facilities on major German routeways, compared to the relatively poor facilities constructed by his own Czech government. How many germans does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one. It is a simple lightbulb, not an advanced 'home computer'. Knock Knock Who is there please? Boo I do not know anyone by that name. Unless you mean to startle me with the word 'boo', in which case you are quite unsuccessful. I see no need to open my door in either case. Doctor Doctor! I think I've broken my leg! Yes, I'm afraid it's a terrible break, the chances are you'll never walk again. Why can't women leave the kitchen to empty the bins out? They can, providing that they are familiar with the efficient German rubbish sorting guidelines. There are separate collections for green glass, white glass and brown glass. Recycling rubbish goes in yellow bags that are collected by yellow trucks, newspapers go in cardboard boxes that are collected by gray vehicles, other rubbish is collected every two weeks by various private firms. How can you tell that your girlfriend's too young for you? Often the level of rapport enduced from conversations and activities is dependant on sharing mutual interests and beliefs. A significant age gap can compromise this, although it is not a concrete determiner of a relationship's potential success. Another thing to take into account is that the legal age for consentual sex is 16, although it is often (wrongly) considered a taboo for a man of 20 years or older to date a lady who is less than 18, the minimum legal age for drinking in the United Kingdom. However, when the roles are reversed it can be considered a positive trait for a younger man to have a mature partner. What do you call a man with a tray on his head? If you are aware of his given name, you may address him with this. If he had adopted a nickname by which he is comfortable to be known, using this would also be deemed acceptable. If, however, you do not already know what his name is, ask him to kindly inform you so that you may become acquainted. You may then ask him why he has a tray on his head, and he will quite likely answer you with humility and direct earnest. An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving. What do Madeleine McCann's parents have in common with Rhys Jones's parents? Both sets of parents outlived their infant children. (It is assumed, due to the substantial period of time since McCann went missing, that she is now deceased. However, this has yet to be confirmed by any official source.) Due to fewer intrinsic external differences between the facial structures of african people when compared to those of caucasians, Barack Obama is sometimes confused with Lewis Hamilton and Theo Walcott. Similarly, the current Israeli/Palestinian crisis is occasionally mistaken for that of footballer Paul Gascoigne. This is because Gascoigne was often endearingly known as 'Gazza', while the area of land most prominent in the Middle Eastern conflict is called Gaza - one letter away from the aforementioned 'Gazza', hence the confusion. A man walks into a pub and orders three pints. He sits down with them and drinks them all to himself, then goes back to the bar and orders another three pints. Once again, he drinks them all to himself and returns for three more pints. The barman, understandably rattled, asks him why he keeps ordering three at a time. The man explains that he has two riplet brothers, both in other countries, and they always have three pints at a time to pretend that they're together. The barman is touched by this. This continues for several months until one day the man comes in and only asks for two pints. The barman offers his condolences. The man thanks him, and somberly finishes his drinks, in the knowledge that he will never again see his beloved brother. What do you get if you cross a gooseberry with a stereo? A sticky green residue that is difficult to remove from the electrical unit. A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith. Why can't Stephen Hawking dance? He has Motor Neurone disease. What's black, white, and hungry? The population of Zimbabwe. A man is walking through the desert, searching desperately for water. Suddenly, he stumbles across a stall. "Do you have any water, please?" he asks the merchant. "Sorry mate, I only sell ties here" is the reply. The man continues his increasingly futile bid for quenched thirst, and finally reaches another merchant. "How can I help you, mate?" "Water! I need water!" "Well, you've come to the right place." So the merchant gives the man some water, they shake hands, and have a long and hearty laugh over the redundancy of a tie shop in the desert.
No, it wasn't hard. I grew up in the Chicagoland area, and a lot of my friends at the time were first generation Americans. So such is life. I grew up eating potatoes, then I realize is potato-flavored rock. I can pick up accents pretty easily, I have a good ear for them, and don't really even think about it when I'm doing it.
Every now and then my hat will fall off in the middle of a take, because when I pop my head through the window, it's a very narrow space, and I almost try to cover it with a line that will be cut because no one wants to see Oleg's hat fall off.
There is a lot of practical joking that happens in between takes. In particular, between Beth and I. Where we make inappropriate fart noises in front of the audience and blame other cast members, which the audience somehow thinks is hilarious. They turn into 4th Graders.
One of my first thoughts was "I can't believe I locked my fucking keys in my car outside a McDonalds in the middle of farm country. This dream is sure starting off wonderful."
This is a true story, 100%. I'd not left the state yet, and my friends and I stopped for McGriddles sandwiches (which only cost us $1.99 and 3 hours of our lives that we'll never get back).
My friends and I were caravaning in 3 separate cars, and each had a very different definition of what a safe speed limit was. We also drove terribly unsafe hours at a time, I think the last leg was an 18 hour straight marathon. I just remember there was a huge argument on how much one should drive, and we ignored our dissenter completely and almost died from being delirious on the road.
The funniest thing that happened on the show was a scene between Jennifer and I where we had to hold for laughs for over 30 seconds every time one of us spoke, our faces were so close together for cameras that it looked like we were about to kiss to the audience but on TV it appeared we were a normal distance apart. It made the audience laugh really hard, because they thought we were going to break, but we never did.
We absolutely stick to the script but I pitch jokes for myself and the other characters. The writers have written such a specific rhythm that it's better to run things by them so they can make it fit in the structure that already exists.
Oleg was in the original pilot and they were looking for someone to play him, and I was lucky enough to be that person. Oleg is based on eccentric but lovable, overly amorous ladies men. In the audition, I actually wore something similar to the costumes he wears on the show. I imagined him as always going to or coming from a discotheque.
What an amazing thing to say! Thank you so much. My favorite show is from last year when Caroline asked how do you stop someone from choking and I popped out of the window and said I just back up a few inches.
At the end of season 2, the girls re-did my apartment in the style of Ikea showroom. But the audience got to see what my ACTUAL apartment looked like before the girls took it apart. It was filled with sex toys, pinup girls, and mansmell.
No, when I first read the pilot, I was alone and found myself laughing out loud repeatedly. The fact that it so closely resembles the American economy in its current state, I think that's why it's funny, because we're all going through the same thing. And I think going through hard times is inherently funnier than swimming through a lake of gold coins UNLESS you're Scrooge McDuck.
The cast & crew have become like a second family to me. We all get along, which is unbelievably rare. I look forward to going in every day and creating something with people I truly care about. Which I think, isn't that the dream in life?
Trust me, sometimes it's exhausting being white. They asked me originally to do like, one person, but with animation, they like to have a core group of people that do the majority of the voices. So we have a cool core that do all the voices.
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